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1. A bottle of glittery nail polish to make your nails look as appealing as a giant funfetti cake.
2. An embroidered clutch with a chain strap so you can stylishly (and conveniently) tote around all of your essentials.
3. A macrame hanging shelf that'll make an ~ex-succulent~ place for showing off your plants.
4. A pair of funky cat-eye shades you'll want to order in every color — which you totally should because they are so affordable!
5. A yoga pug beach towel. I don't think I even need to say more?
6. While we're on the topic of pugs, a giant sneaker pet bed that'll be a ~shoe-in~ in your furry child's sleep routine.
7. An actually cute lunch tote that'll most likely convince you to start bringing food to work every day.
8. A bottle of "Jawesome" bubble bath so you can relax and unwind while you patiently wait for The Meg to hit theaters.
9. A pair of leather Converse high tops with floral embroidery you'll ~grow~ to love more and more with each wear.
10. A travel jewelry case to keep your best gems from forming a chain tumbleweed while you're on the go.
11. A set of delightful cactus dryer balls that'll help aerate and fluff your laundry while it dries.
12. A pair of colorful tassel earrings for an instant wardrobe upgrade on a budget.
13. A badass graphic t-shirt to add to your nasty woman wardrobe.
14. A summery duster cardigan you can pair with shorts or wear as a swimsuit coverup.
15. A pillow cover for The Office lovers that you'll love more than bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactica combined!
16. A Homesick memory candle with sugar cookie scents to keep the feeling of your grandma's kitchen close.
17. A prompt journal for reminding you about the amazingness that is YOU, because sometimes ya just need a little self encouragement.
18. A pair of sheer, pearl-style socks that'll ~step-up~ your accessory and shoe game.
19. A blunt yet cute sweater for the days (or weeks) when you just... aren't sorry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
20. And speaking of *blunt*, a smoking accessory subscription box packed with 10+ products so you can get all the new and exciting goods without having to leave your couch.
21. A ceramic, recycling bin coffee mug because you're proud to be a garbage can — and an eco-friendly one at that.
22. A pair of bubble windows for a backyard fence that allows your dog to see their next-door pals (which can help cut down barking). This is sure to make you the world's greatest pet parent... and neighbor.
23. An adorable recipe tin that'll keep your favorite recipes in one accessible place.
24. A skull cakelet pan with the spOOooOOky ability to make all types of food — from pizza pockets to cornbread to cake.
25. A studded belt bag because cute and convenient can definitely go together.
26. An animal wall mount to add some unexpected quirk and color to your room (or every room!).
27. A flirty, striped skirt so you can twirl through life, which is all you can really do.
28. And lastly, a "Solar Flare" eyeshadow palette with 18 (!!!) shimmery and super pigmented shades to give you a wide range of ~lit~ looks.
Welp, I don't want to be a brat, but I need all of this.
Some reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.