I Got An IUD And This Is What I Learned
I am older. I am wiser. I have a T-shaped rod of destiny hanging out in my uterus.
Hello! My name is Kaye and I never, ever, ever want a baby.
Despite being a nerdy pop-punk piece of shit who never once got laid in high school, I've been on some form of pill-based birth control since I was 14.
This year, I chose to get an IUD instead of sticking with the pill.
There were several reasons, some more thought-out than others. Here are the main ones:
* Because I am forgetful and I hate having to take something at the same damn time every day.
* Because I get migraines with aura, and combined oral contraceptives aren't recommended for that, since it may increase your risk of stroke.
* Because I definitely do not want a child in the next five years, if ever.
* Because I, uh, I like having sex. (Sorry, parents.)
I figured there are probably other people who want an IUD and have no idea what they're in for, because Lord knows when I Googled IUDs there is an alarming lack of information on the old interwebs and most of it is super vague and tepid.
So, for those of you on the hunt for your next form of birth control and who might be considering an IUD: here's what I learned.
Important note: Everyone's body responds differently to different medications and procedures. This is how things went for me. More on that later!
1. I couldn't just like, roll up to my gyno's office and get one.
2. It was completely covered by my insurance.
3. IT HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER.
4. *ominous voice* There will be blood.
5. *ominous voice* There will be... other things too.
6. Adjusting will take time.
How much time? Depends on who you are as a person. According to my doctor and also the internet, it takes about three months to adjust. According to everyone I've talked to, it can take 6-8 months for the symptoms to completely go away. Here's what I felt: