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    Everything Is 40% Off At Express This Weekend And I Literally Cannot EXPRESS My Joy

    BREATHE, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. Breathe, and then shop.

    HELLO PARTY PEOPLE!!! Happy Friday! And happy first day of Express having a huge ass sale all weekend long! From now until Tuesday, October 30, you can get 40% off absolutely everything they've got!!! Let me present you with some actual footage of my closet as it hears this news:

    1. A chic plaid coat that'd probably make Blair Waldorf renounce Bergdorf's in favor of Express for good.

    2. A subtly studded, rock 'n' roll tie-neck blouse perfect for slaying on your world tour (or, you know, at your next big meeting).

    3. Plaid tie-waist pants for a professional look that's also trendy AF.

    4. A ruffled faux-wrap dress with an elastic waist that'll have all your friends green with envy.

    5. A fleecy pullover hoodie more autumnal than pumpkin spice lattes and haunted houses COMBINED.

    6. Super fun sequined statement earrings sure to make any look instantly more festive.

    7. A totally boss pinstripe blazer that could pass for a much more expensive one.

    8. A sweet graphic tee to have everything coming up roses.

    9. A preppy V-neck sweater that's giving me serious '80s teen movie heartthrob vibes.

    10. A penguin-printed button down fit for a king, or an emperor, or an Adelie, or whatever your fave species of penguin is.

    11. Camo jeggings that'll actually make you stand out from the fashion crowd, not blend in.

    12. A metallic off-the-shoulder sweaterdress for anyone who's ever wished they could wear their sweats to a party.

    13. A faux-fur collared moto jacket that screams, "Why yes, I am a badass, thank you for noticing."

    14. A wool-blend bomber jacket with puffy sleeves for staying warm while looking cool.

    15. Tall riding boots you'll wear so often, they're easily worth twice as much.

    16. Cropped skinnies that already come cuffed, so awkwardly trying to roll your jeans to the perfect length will be a thing of the past.

    17. A stripy cardigan with roomy pockets for keeping your hands toasty too.

    18. Faux patent lug sole ankle booties that'd be equally awesome with jeans, dresses, skirts...heck, they'd probably look cute if you were wearing pajamas.

    19. A geometric mini you don't have to have aced high school trigonometry to know is a sine of great style.

    20. A purple paid shirt for a mauve-lous take on a classic flannel.

    21. And a knockout sequined jumpsuit to steal the scene at every holiday party this season.

    Me freaking out about this amazing sale rn:

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