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1.A 2021 wall calendar featuring a different unlikely animal friendship and the story of how they met each month, because goodness knows we could all use a little more wholesomeness in our lives.
2.A beautiful acrylic and faux pearl barrette that reads "Magic," because honestly, is there a better word to describe you and the energy you want to channel with your style and everything else this year?
3.Constellation-print socks you should be proud of, because finding socks that everyone will be horo-scoping out is no small ~feet~.
4.A sheet of peel-and-stick marble-effect paper to customize pretty much any of the surfaces in your home — from floors to countertops to drab pieces of decor — to make them look like they belong in a million-dollar listing. Not to mention give you a fun and Insta-worthy project in the new year.
5.Super spicy ground habanero powder you can use to (literally) heat up every dish you cook this year, from meat to veggies to rice to soup. May I also ~pepper~ in the fact that it's kosher, non-GMO, and sourced from environmentally responsible farmers?
7.Some surprised-looking pig pens you and your co-workers (even if for now your co-workers are just your just your roommates or your family) are sure to go hog wild for.
8.A massaging, exfoliating, and blood flow-increasing scalp brush over 5,000 (!!!) reviewers swear by to give you that feeling of someone deep shampooing your hair at a salon that you miss so much. Not to mention this helps with dandruff and buildup, plus even helps encourage hair growth!
9.A glittery enamel pin that (literally) combines beauty and brains — just like your badass self — to inspire you to keep kicking butt in 2021.
10.NYX Epic Ink eyeliner, a waterproof formula that'll make you wonder why you spent years dropping major $$$ on liquid liner when you can get a ~meow~velous cat eye or super ~fly~ wing that'll last all day with this.
11.A grippy fitness hoop that's the grown-up version of the sparkly one you had in your garage as a kid and ideal for starting a fun workout routine you'll actually want to do.
12.A dramatic yet cute dumpster fire charm you can affix to your bag or keyring and just casually point to when someone asks how you are or mentions the year — *gasp* — 2020.
14.An expensive-looking faux leather double circle belt you (and your fave jeans) will love so much you'll wanna put a ring on it.
15.A rawr-some dinosaur planter so your plant can go down in ~pre-history~ as having the cutest abode in all the land.
16.Whimsical cactus dryer balls that'll actually make laundry something to smile about in 2021 (you read that right). They'll fluff and help circulate air through your laundry while drying, plus provide a touch of whimsy to ~spike~ your interest in doing chores.
18.A straight-to-the-point T-shirt for anyone who, like me, is in bed before midnight even on NYE — or just anyone who plans on taking a lot of naps in 2021, which is a worthy resolution.
19.A LOL-worthy fruit-shaped cat cap that'll pretty much pay for itself in entertainment value with just one picture of your kitty (though you'll be taking approximately 863, and they will probably all end up in next year's Top Nine).
20.A glam and surprisingly inexpensive gold chain link bracelet you'll wear for years to come, both on its own and stacked with other chic baubles.
21.A cute and inspirational lemon sticker that'll help cheer you up when you're feeling sour.
23.A delightfully retro Reptar tee for my fellow millennials who refuse to acknowledge that the '90s were (*gasp*) 30 years ago. 😮
24.A charming snail soap dispenser you shouldn't be slow to add to your cart — and don't worry, you won't have to ~shell~ out much dough for it. Listen, frequent hand-washing is still very much going to be a part of life in 2021, so why not add some extra cuteness?
25.A squee-worthy Totoro AirPod case here to Miyaza-keep your precious Pods safe and sound.
26.An absolutely hilarious Schitt's Creek cake sticker ideal for celebrating birthdays, graduations, selling out motels, successful a cappella performances, or just getting through the year that was 2020.
27.A clean/dirty dishwasher magnet to help you keep a cool head in 2021. You'll be so glad you impulse bought when it saves you from yet another fight with your roommate because they threw their icky dinner plate in with the dishes you JUST. FREAKING. WASHED.
29.A darling Dapper Animals Coloring Book for anyone who wants to try their hand at fashion design this year but thinks human models are a little overrated, tbh.
30.An absolutely inspired car dipping sauce holder that'll clip to your vents so you can easily dip your drive-thru meal without spilling BBQ all over your seats or balancing ranch precariously on your center console. Where has this been your whole chicken-nugget-eating life???
31.A game-changing wine gadget that's a stopper, pourer, aerator, filter, and re-corker all in one and a must-have for anyone who loves wine. It's under $10, so wine not?
32.An adorable and versatile beanie you'll wear all winter long, all different ways — it's reversible and the pom pom is removable, so the days of your winter hat not going with your outfit are long gone.
33.And finally, a screaming goat figure, because if you don't have one of them by now, it's time to fix that and scream your way into 2021.
Treating yourself in the new year like:
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