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Posted on Sep 23, 2015

This Boston Man Yelling At A "Sea Monstah" Is The Best Thing You'll See Today

"JAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT, KID?" "We gotta call the fahking aquahhrium, bro!"

Michael Bergin of Malden, Massachusetts, and his friend came across a strange fish. Then they proceeded to freak the fuck out in the most perfect Massachusetts way possible. Listen with sound for A+++ Boston accents:

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"I don't know what this is, but Jay says it's a big sea turtle. No, it's a baby fucking whale! Holeee shit, we are witnessing a baby fahking whale right now, bro!"

"Oh man, Jay, that's a tuna, bro! Look at that thing! We are seeing some shit we have never seen before..."

Someone dubbed Michael's voice over an '80s ad for the New England Aquarium:

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And someone made this Jaws mashup:

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The fish is almost certainly an ocean sunfish, or a common mola — a large weirdly shaped thingy that's not totally uncommon in the Atlantic Ocean. Don't worry — they mostly eat just jellyfish.

U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration / Via

This is Michael in happier times when he's not seeing monsters of the deep:

Micahel Bergin / Via Facebook: mikeybrgn

Thank you, Michael. You may not be the hero Massachusetts wanted, but you're the one we deserve.

Michael Bergin / Via Facebook: mikeybrgn

From one Massachusetts native to another: I salute you.

For true devotees of the viral video genre of "people from Massachusetts yelling at sea life," please enjoy this "that's not a shaaahk. Oh, dat is a shaahk!" video from May:

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