The thing about Bitcoin is that it's basically money, so if you're really into talking about how cool Bitcoin is, you're talking about how cool money is. And sure, I guess money IS cool because you need to to get food and shelter and you can even buy cool fun stuff like Jet Skis or whatever. But admitting you're actively expressing the concept of "money is cool" means you're a capitalist pig fucker and should be bumped up to the front of the guillotine line like the shit stains who pay disabled people to help them cut the lines at Disneyland.
People who really believe that money is cool use a kind of hanky code where they "wear suits" and "go to work every day" and "contribute to their 401(k)". They fly under the radar with their secret signals. What the kind of person who really loves money DOESN'T do is record song parodies on YouTube. That's not the behavior of money lovers.
The Venn diagram of "money lovers" and "guys who wear Guy Fawkes masks to record their vlogs" shouldn't overlap. And yet, here we are. Bitcoin has thrown a shitty wrench into the system of what a capitalist pig fucker looks like and now everything's going to shit.
Sayonara to this fucked-up world.
"End of Silk Road" to the tune of Boyz II Men's "End of the Road":
"Love You Like a Bitcoin" to the tune of Selena Gomez's "Love You Like a Love Song":
"Lost Fundz" to the tune of Lauryn Hill's "Lost Ones":
"Blame It on Mt. Gox" to the tune of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep":
Thirty-three covers oh god oh god oh god this is really SOMETHING ELSE:
"Bitcoin Is a Bubble" to the tune of Alicia Keys' "Girl Is on Fire":
Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about tech and internet culture is cohost of the Internet Explorer podcast.
Contact Katie Notopoulos at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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