Skip To Content

    The Intense Art Of Sneaking A Tampon Into The Office Bathroom

    What are our bodies if nothing more than tampon mules, trafficking through the cubicled walls of the patriarchy's satellite office? The struggle, as explained by Marina Abramović.

    So you're in the bathroom and work and realize, Uh-oh.

    You just got your period.

    Ugh, you don't have a tampon on you.

    Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

    But you're resourceful. You make yourself a makeshift pad with a wad of toilet paper.

    You sit back at your desk and wait. It would be weird to go right back to the bathroom too soon. You don't want to raise suspicion.

    Aw nards, you have no pockets. How will you transport the tampon back to the bathroom?

    You reach into your purse and deftly slip the tampon up into your sleeve.

    You avoid everyone, scared that your secret cargo will fly out of your sleeve if you have to wave or shake hands.

    Just try to slip into the bathroom as naturally as possible.

    Phew. You made it.

    Just be glad it wasn't summer and you had short sleeves and no pockets.

    Because then you'd be left with no choice but to be obvious about it.