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    Jul 19, 2013

    The 5 Stages Of Grief Of Getting Inside The Subway Car With No AC

    That empty car? IT'S A TRAP.

    It's a July heat wave, and the subway platform is like a new age sweat lodge and you're about to start having visions.

    The train pulls up with a whoosh of hot air.

    Oh! Look at this! An empty car! You'll get a seat during morning rush, what amazing luck!

    Yay! Awesome!

    Yesssss

    You step inside. Wait....

    Oh no..... is it..... could it be.....?

    IT'S THE CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING.

    You attempt to retreat.

    "Stand clear of the closing doors." You're trapped.

    Stage 1: Shock

    NO NO NO NO NO WHAT????

    Stage 2: Disbelief

    THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. HOW CAN THE SUBWAY NOT HAVE AIR CONDITIONING?

    Stage 3: Anger

    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK POOLS OF SWEAT ARE COLLECTING IN MY SHIRT. I'M SUCH A DUMMY.

    Stage 4: Bargaining

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    PLEASE, GOD, IF YOU LET ME OFF THIS CAR I PROMISE GIVE THOSE BREAKDANCING "SHOWTIME, SHOWTIME" KIDS A DOLLAR EVERY TIME.

    Stage 5: Acceptance and sweating

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    MOIST. I AM MOIST. MOIST IS ME.

    At the next stop, get off and run to the a full cold car.

    Thank you for riding with MTA New York City transit.

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