Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Sex & Drugs?

Are you a cool drug-knowing sexhaver or a total virg n00b loser? Test your knowledge! [Mom, I learned all this on the internet, I promise.]

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  1. 1. What drug is "Molly" slang for?

    Ecstasy
    Marijuana
  2. 2. What drug taking method is a "knifer"?

    Heating up a knife on a stove to smoke weed
    Using a knife to find a vein for injection
  3. 3. What is a "hot carl"?

    Taking a dump on your partner's face
    Taking a dump on your partner's face BUT the face is covered in saran wrap
  4. 4. In drug slang, what amount is a "load"?

    A 1-lb brick of hashish
    25 bags of heroin
  5. 5. True or False: You can get pregnant if you're in a hot tub where a man has ejaculated.

    False. Plus, who is cranking off in a hot tub? Ew.
    True, that's how I was conceived
  6. 6. What combination of drugs is called a "snow ball"?

    Crack and amphetamine combo
    Cocaine and heroin combo
  7. 7. What sex act is called a "snow ball"?

    Kissing someone with a mouthful of ejaculate
    Sniffing cocaine off someone's testicles
  8. 8. What method of cocaine ingestion is called "everclear"?

    Injection
    Snorting
  9. 9. What are "Sherms"?

    PCP
    Psychedelic mushrooms
  10. 10. What is a "gorilla mask"?

    A sexual act where one ejaculates onto the face of his partner, then tosses handfull of freshly trimmed pubic hair onto the face of his partner
    A person so hideous their sexual partner asks them to wear a costume gorilla mask to cover his or her face
  11. 11. Has anyone in the history of forever actually performed a "gorilla mask"?

    Yes, probably
    No way
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    C'mon seriously. You KNOW that's something that's just on urbandictionary.com.

  12. 12. "Jenkem" is:

    A synthetic mix of MDMA and heroin
    An inhalant used by street children in Zambia that caused a moral panic in the U.S.
  13. 13. A "rainbow party" is:

    When you drink every color of liquor and puke up a rainbow
    A teen sex party involving oral sex and various shades of lipstick
  14. 14. True or false: only men produce smegma.

    True
    False
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    True

    I HATE THIS ANSWER SO MUCH EW EW EW EW EW

  15. 15. "Butt-chugging" refers to:

    A whole lot of anal intercourse
    Ingesting alcohol through a funnel hose to your anus
  16. 16. Third base is....

    Blowjob
    Hands down the pants groping (male or female)
  17. 17. In the gay sex "hankerchief code", wearing a green hanky means you're:

    Into oral sex only
    A prostitute
  18. 18. Crystal meth is made from which common drug store item?

    Pepto-bismol
    Sudafed
  19. 19. What U.S. law contains the portion on meth that requires showing a driver's license to buy Sudafed?

    The Patriot Act
    The Rockerfeller laws
  20. 20. What sex move is "the stranger"?

    Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep before masturbating
    Sending a text asking for sex to a random number in your friend's phone
  21. 21. What fruit can you easily make a marijuana bong out of?

    Banana
    Apple
  22. 22. What is a "donkey punch"?

    Getting kicked out of a Tijuana donkey show for drunkenly fighting with the bouncer
    Punching your partner in the back of his or her head just before climax to achieve a startled tightening of the scphinchter
  23. 23. Which of these image is a marijuana plant?

  24. 24. True or false: bath salts can still be legally purchased.

    True
    False
  25. 25. What sex move is a "blumpkin"?

    Performing oral sex while someone is on the toilet, taking a dump
    Leaving a small turd under your partner's sheets after sex for him or her to discover later

Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Sex & Drugs?

You're a goody-two-shoes

You know nothing about sex and drugs. Your parents are probably very proud of you, especially considering you were probably homeschooled in a fringe religious cult and all.

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You've got a little naughty in ya

You're not exactly the most used car on the lot, but you know.... things. Bad things.

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You're absolutely filthy

Jesus Christ, were you raised an opium den that doubled as a whorehouse?

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You're a dirty bird

Oh boy, where did you learn all this? Eeesh! You're not exactly the worst out there, but DAYUM.

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