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The Definitive Ranking Of McDonaldland Characters By Hotness

Whose McNuggets would you totally dunk?

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15. The McNugget Buddies

The McNugget Buddies would be cute, but they only ever want to hang out with each other. They're basically TLC's "Scrubs"; always hanging out the passenger side of their best friend's ride.

12. The Professor

The Professor would be dead last in terms of hotness if it wasn't for the fact he's one of the only humanoid inhabitants of McDonaldland. Ownership of some sort of human genitalia gives him a few extra points.

8. The Fry Guys


Shy hipsters in Converse hi-tops. Intriguing at first, but eventually you discover it's not just that they're the silent type; they don't really have opinions of their own.

5. CosMc

Upside: At least 6 arms, suggesting intriguing possibilities.

Downside: CosMc lives on the moon; voiced by Whoopi Goldberg in the ads.

4. Ronald McDonald


Look at this slick fucker. Right now he's on the phone telling some girl, "I'm so sorry I haven't called, I've been out of town and then just, like, really busy but we should totally hang out sometime...."

Cute, but a cocky d-bag who thinks he's hotter than he actually is.

2. Uncle O'Grimacey


Like any good uncle, this patron saint of the shamrock shake is the life of the party. He's the kind of guy you don't think is hot at first glance, but he's so charismatic you find yourself drawn to him.

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