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    The Definitive Ranking Of McDonaldland Characters By Hotness

    Whose McNuggets would you totally dunk?

    15. The McNugget Buddies

    The McNugget Buddies would be cute, but they only ever want to hang out with each other. They're basically TLC's "Scrubs"; always hanging out the passenger side of their best friend's ride.

    14. Grimace

    13. The Apple Pie Tree

    12. The Professor

    The Professor would be dead last in terms of hotness if it wasn't for the fact he's one of the only humanoid inhabitants of McDonaldland. Ownership of some sort of human genitalia gives him a few extra points.

    11. Birdie

    10. Iam Hungry

    Iam is the "vice president of snacking". Who knew! He's not attractive at all, but almost certainly a genuine freak in the sheets. Look at at that tongue.

    9. Mayor McCheese

    8. The Fry Guys

    7. Hamburgler

    6. Captain Crook

    Finally, a man who knows how to dress. Slightly older and refined. Sexy facial hair, but slightly ill-advised earring.

    Actually owns a suit. Look, I don't ask for much.

    5. CosMc

    Upside: At least 6 arms, suggesting intriguing possibilities.

    Downside: CosMc lives on the moon; voiced by Whoopi Goldberg in the ads.

    4. Ronald McDonald

    3. Officer Big Mac

    2. Uncle O'Grimacey

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