So. You've found yourself arguing on the internet again, eh?
Some IDIOT said something on Facebook or Twitter that just pissed you off SO BAD.
You want to win this. You want to humilitate this troll. You want him to cry and never show his face on the internet again.
Before you proceed into the fiery depths of a flame war, a few warnings:
Sometimes you find yourself going back and forth over the same point, and no one's winning.
Perhaps you can find a common enemy.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on.
Now. If you want to keep going, listen up.
Get ready. You're about to pwn this clown.
A great tactic is to always reference that he or she certainly lives in his mother's basement.
If you're lucky, they'll say "your" instead of "you're" and then you can go for the jugular (just kidding, this is a bad strategy).
Start piling on the insults. Might I recommend: mouthbreather, clowndildo, turdsniffer, turdlicker, toiletface, fedorahumper.
Oooh ho ho ho, now you've really got them against the ropes.
It should be smooth sailing from here, right?
This would be a good time to remind them:
Oh, but what's this? They just told you to Go Die In A Fire?
You're about to invoke Hitler. Do you know who else always brought up Hitler? Hitler. DO NOT INVOKE HITLER.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Don't let the trolls get to you.
Back to your happy place. Back to your happy place.
At some point, you realize that all internet arguments are kind of the same.
No one actually ever wins.
Ok, look. Face it. It's just time to LOG OFF.
JUST LOG OFF.
Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about tech and internet culture is cohost of the Internet Explorer podcast.
Contact Katie Notopoulos at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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