How Experienced In Pooping Are You?

Post-coffee poop

Post-cigarette poop

Post-coffee-and-cigarette poop

Straight-up diarrhea

Perfect emoji poop

Confusing white poop

Squid ink black poop

Reddish poop after eating beets

Flu poop

Hangover shits

Beer shits

Red wine shits

Burrito poop

Flamin' Hot Cheetos red poop

Period poop

Ninja poop (when you wipe and there's nothing?!??!)

Foot-long poop

Poop that spells out a J in the toilet

A bunch of tiny raisin-like turds

Poop so big you can feel your organs resettle afterwards inside your body

Ghost poop, which is all fart, no poop

Shart (you think it'll be a fart, but then it's a poop)

Adult poop that smells like baby poop

Loud explosive bomb blast poop

Corn poop

Butt burning poop

Awkward office bathroom poop

Three flush poop

Vom-poop where you're pooping and vomming simultaneously

Stick poop, which comes out in skinny little sticks

EMERGENCY poop when you have to abandon EVERYTHING you are doing to go EXPLODE

Nervous poop

Clingy poop that takes a thousand wipes

Turd that flies out of your shorts while doing a backlfip and definitely wasn't how that turd got on the ceiling

O.P.P. (other people's poop)

Not sure if human or dog poop

Disappointing poop

Rock hard poop

Chode poop (wider than it is long)

The poop of life (the poop your mom made when she was giving birth to you)

Gas station bathroom poop

First poop at a new romantic partner's place

Toilet smasher

Poop that smashes your new romantic partner's toilet

Drunk poop

Poop so huge it makes your butt bleed

Pre-shower naked poop

Middle of the night poop

Wilderness poop, out in the wild

Hunger poop

Day 3 of a juice cleanse poop

Salad poop, after eating pizza the day before

Simultaneously eating while you poop

Bar poop

Club poop

The cruel irony of the post-shower poop

Formal attire poop

Spanx poop

Post-Thanksgiving 20-pound poop

First open and honest poop in a new relationship

Post-sex poop

Indian food poop

Mexican food poop

Pizza poop

Unsatisfying sushi poop

Grape nuts poop

Ass destroying kale poop

Hole wrecking poop

Bloody poop

Copaphilia sex poop

Accidental sex poop

Coworker-in-the-next-stall-trying-to-talk-to-you poop

Mid-movie poop

Flappy Bird high score poop

Really long skinny poop

Exam poop

Fear poop

Anxiety poop

Diarrhea that you definitely didn't think was going to be diarrhea poop

Spicy diarrhea

Diaper poop

Adult diaper poop

Starbucks bathroom poop

Mid-meal poop

Emergency roadside poop

Airplane poop

Sunday morning leisurely poop

Expired milk poop

Sexting poop

The poop you want to last longer because you're reading something on your phone

The fake poop, when you just have a really big fart

The poop that makes the toilet water backsplash you

Very unpleasant messy poop that you don't even know how to clean up

Wet Wipes poop

Poop when you've run out of TP and want to die

The hanging poop that won't fall into the toilet

The little bit of round 2 poop that won't fall off after you have the main turd

The fake-out poop when you think you're done and you wipe and THEN ROUND 2 IS ON

The tiny bit of poop that keeps floating no matter how many times you flush

The toilet clogger

How Experienced In Pooping Are You?

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