Here Is What Google Says About Your College

The truth shall finally be revealed by our weird search history.

1. Harvard is now best known as “the Stanford of the East.”

NOTE: There was a news article with that headline, which skews the Google results.

2. Stanford is the new Harvard. But better than Harvard. The best in the world.

3. NYU is too expensive and not worth it.

[The “impressed with you letter” is something NYU and other schools send to students with high SAT scores to encourage them to apply.]

4. Princeton is gay and a trade school.

5. Yale is apparently for wizards.

6. No one knows where Brown is, what it’s known for, or if it’s any good.

7. University of Massachusetts is for drunks and a party school.

A UMass Dartmouth sweatshirt, folded.

8. No one is sure where Duke is, or who it’s named for.

9. University of North Carolina is first and foremost, better than Duke. Secondly, it’s gay.

10. MIT students are arrogant, happy, and possibly banned from Vegas.

11. Tufts is full of hotties, but tough.

12. Boston University’s main point is that it’s allegedly better than Boston College.

13. University of Virginia is bigger, smarter, and preppier.

(The “not a charm school” thing is a line in Silence of the Lambs)

14. Students at UC Berkeley is too hard, so students are googling to find out if a D is a passing grade.

15. Georgetown students are hot and care about birth control.

16. Cornell is either the best Ivy, or not an Ivy at all. It’s also “wired.”

17. Penn State may be a cult.

…and its students are :(

18. University of Pennsylvania is NOT Penn State. It’s a private school.

19. University of Chicago is where fun goes to die.

20. Northwestern is an overrated party school.

21. Vassar students are questionably happy, weird, and gay.

22. Wesleyan is the Harvard of central Connecticut.

23. Arizona State University is a bad party school full of hot people (or the weather is hot?).

24. Southern Methodist University students may be snobby.

25. People want to know if Bennington is good, but more pressingly, is it even accredited?

26. University of Florida students get free Microsoft Office, if they avoid murder, that is.

27. Rutgers is happy and slutty.

28. Temple University is ghetto.

29. University of Missouri is for real, the best, awesome gay, and most crucially, better than Kansas.

But it doesn’t matter WHERE you go to college, just remember this one thing:

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