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Happy World Goth Day

May 22 is World Goth Day (look it up, jerk). Here's hoping yours is gloomy and black, just like your soul.

Hold the phone, did you know it's World Goth Day today?

Tell your mom. Shout it from the rooftops. No one can stop you now, you're a goth.

Today is the day to be proud of your gothhood. Celebrate it! Teach the children! Also, hail Satan 666, etc etc etc...

Ever notice how goth couples are always the same level of goth? Like, you don't see one super goth with a slightly goth person, right? Just a thought here.

Like this couple. They are perfect. I wonder if the other guy is part of the couple, too. Satan doesn't have hangups about polyamory, you know.

People think goths are always moping around about everything, but even goths love cookies. Because cookies are delicious DUH. Don't be ridiculous.

Here's a goth in a Walmart ironically hula hooping. Goths love going to Walmart and messing around ironically to show they're not beholden to The Man. Keep up the good work, goth teen.

Even Obama loves goths. These two black angels are the daughters of the former prime minster of Spain. This photo is pretty much the greatest moment in gothdom.

I bet when Obama was taking that photo he was totally like

Goths don't even have to be human. Look, here is a gothcat.

Anyway, glad we had this chat. Hope your Goth Day is full of bats and darkness and pain. Oh, this is me, btw: