This Is For Everyone Suffering From Freezing Office Syndrome
If you have a blanket under your desk and it's 70 degrees outside, we are here for you.
If you are reading this, you may be one of the millions of people suffering from Freezing Office Syndrome.
Winter, summer, fall. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Your office's A.C. is set to approximately 3 kelvin year round.
Your days sitting at your desk typically look like this:
Those afflicted with Frozen Office Syndrome often adapt by wearing specific attire meant for arctic climates.
Many Frozen Office Syndrom sufferers keep a blanket under their desk.
A common method of temporary relief is to blow hot air into the sleeves of your desk hoodie.
In the summertime, if God forbid you wear a T-shirt to the office, you will be in mortal danger.
Frostbite and even death by exposure can set in rapidly to anyone who wears a sleeveless top and forgets a cardigan.
Though some offices have warm rooms, some Frozen Offices have no relief in sight, just endless corridors and cubicles of bleak tundra.
In the summertime, when sufferers get outside to go to lunch, they may find even unbearable summer heats welcome and tolerable.
Here is a realistic simulation of the wretched souls who happen to sit under a vent:
After months or even years of Frozen Office Syndrome, sufferers may become almost immune to the cold.
The most common and pernicious symptom of F.O.S. is Cold Mouse Hand. It's when the hand you use for your mouse gets super cold because it's just sticking out there, exposed all day.
Do not fall prey to snake oil "miracle cures" for Frozen Office Syndrome. These will not help you.
Do not attempt to contact your office manager. Resistance is futile. It is a building-wide issue, not just your office.
Currently, there is no cure for Frozen Office Syndrome. Bundling up is the only way to treat the symptoms.
Stay warm in there, comrades.
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