There are a lot of people who want to fuck Bigfoot. Probably more than you thought, all those times when you were thinking about how many people there might be who want to fuck Bigfoot.
But did you know that Bigfoot's dick is probably super tiny?
According to primatologist and Bigfoot hunter Natalia Reagan, who spoke to Huffington Post in a recent interview, Bigfoot's proportions should be thought of as similar to those of a gorilla or orangutan. And guess what? Gorillas and orangutans have pretty small dicks — sometimes less than 2.5 inches in length.
In the same interview, Reagan did imply, however, that Bigfoot's balls, like a chimp's, would be huge. "Chimpanzees have a lot of male-male competition and a need for sperm competition — they have huge cojones... there's an idea of kamikaze sperm, where some sperm will actually out-swim and fight other sperm to get to the eggs." Haha, nightmares!!!
This information stands in stark contrast to existing Bigfoot literature, which generally describes the primate's dick as being closer to the 8-12 inch range as well as constantly throbbing.
There is no way to know for sure until we find him, but knowing there's a pretty decent chance that Bigfoot has a micropenis, the question then is:
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