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Witches' Counsel: How Do I Attract My Crush?

A recurring ~magical~ advice column.

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Hi! We're Arianna and Katie and we like casting spells and giving advice. So we're combining those interests here, in Witches' Counsel, where you can send us any problems, hang-ups, fears, etc., and we will do everything in our ~power~ to help. Reach us at witches@buzzfeed.com.

Dear Witches,

Lately it feels like no men are attracted to me. I try and try and try to do everything in my power to look attractive and act pleasant but nothing seems to work!! There is a specific person I'm wishing to attract so let me know if you want his name. My zodiac sign is Cancer. Let me know if you can help or need any more info. Thanks so much!!!!!

Moony in Massachusetts

Dear Moony,

I suppose now is as good a time as any to break it to you — the collective you — gently: we can't make anyone fall in love with you. Nor can we put a spell (any kind of spell) on anyone who isn't the person directly requesting, even if the intentions are good, and especially when the intentions are bad. Believe us, there are plenty of people we'd just love to hex right off the planet (or charm right into our pants), but we can't for several reasons. One, it's against company policy. Two, it's just not a good idea, karmically. There are forces at work in other people's lives that are beyond our comprehension, and to mess with them would be to risk upsetting the Earth's natural order. Or something like that. Basically, we want to stay on the spirits' good side.

The other thing is, what if this dude isn't all you believe him to be? He's probably not! Even if he is great, it's probably not exactly in the ways you're currently imagining him to be. He is three-dimensional (I'm assuming) and a human being (I'm hoping), and so it is all more complicated than setting him in your path. You've seen the movies. Love spells never work out, in the long run. Artificial attraction does not provide lasting satisfaction.

All that being said, it's no fun feeling unattractive or unnoticed. So that's what we're going to focus on here. You SHOULD feel attractive and pleasant, because you are. You may not attract every person you wish to (none of us can), but you will attract someone. Probably many someones. And you are most likely to do so when you are feeling great about yourself. People are drawn to people who feel great, both about themselves and about others.

So here's what we did for you. We lit a red candle (for love, passion, and connection — both internal and external) and carved it with your name and zodiac sign. We then carved the candle with the Ihwaz rune, for connection and new things, the Pagan symbol for love (otherwise known as a heart), and a small mirror, for beauty — more to feel that you already have it than to create it. Be assured, you already have it! We then rubbed the candle in Bad-Ass oil from Enchantments, to give you an extra kick of empowerment and attraction. Placing the candle in a glass container filled with a little bit of water (safety first!), we whispered our intentions over the flame and let it burn straight through the night.

If you're looking for another little trick to try at home, try wearing a little bit of thyme in a pouch, in your purse, pocket, or — why not — in a locket around your neck. Thyme is used for positive vibes, attraction, and human connection. And lucky for you, it will make you smell great.

Goddess bless,

The Witches

Dear Witches,

Namaste from Bangalore! I am a 33 year-old woman living a single life here at Bangalore. I am a Healthcare Professional (Clinical Trials to be specific). I was fired from my job on April 6 without any severance pay or prior notice. I had worked very hard for this company and was very disappointed, to say the least. I felt betrayed.

Since then it has been a downward spiral for me — I have not been able to land a job (even with experience of 10 years). My savings are little. I am very miserable as this is not where I wanted to be in my life. At a time when my friends are well settled with family, I am scraping a living here. I don't want to wake up in the mornings, as I no longer know what to do. Some days I just don't want to live any more.

With an ounce of last hope, I am writing this letter to you. I need some guidance and some miracle from life.

Please help me.

Thank You,

Blue in Bangalore

Dear Blue,

First things first, we want to say how glad we are that you've written to us. One of the greater (well, worse, but you get it) ironies of depression is that it is, at once, the time when you least want to reach out to others, and when you most need to. Don't underestimate how important and brave it is that you are being proactive in this way. It's just one example of the strength of your will, and it's kind of like a stealth superpower. Be proud of it. You're writing about not wanting to even wake up in the morning, and yet you are — and what's more, you're reaching out and trying to make it better. This means, whether or not you realize this, that you still believe in that better future waiting for you.

But let's talk about the present. You've been fired, and that is one of the most stressful things a person will go through in her life. You are a healthcare professional, so forgive us if we're explaining something you already know, but in the late 1960s, two scientists developed something called "The Social Readjustment Rating Scale" (aka, the "Holmes and Rahe stress scale"), which measured different life events, or stressors, by their likelihood of bringing on illness in the person experiencing them. Out of 43 stressful life events, dismissal from work is #8. It's in the top ten! This is a huge and disorienting thing, comparable to the death of a loved one, so give yourself permission to mourn. And then, remind yourself that you are not your job. Say it to yourself when you wake up. Being unemployed is a very real problem, but it will never be made better by feeling ashamed of it. You will find another job — it might not be exactly what you're expecting, or happen when you're expecting it, but you will. Here's what we did to help:

We used an orange candle (attracts professional success, prosperity, courage; cleanses negativity) carved with your name, zodiac symbol, and a solar symbol (for potential). We then lit High Conquering incense from Enchantments, rubbed the candle with Lucky Job oil (also from Enchantments), and lit the candle itself while reciting our intention and visualizing your success. For added good energy, you can get yourself some bay leaves and have it with you, in a pouch, when applying for jobs or going in for interviews. Trust that your positivity will bring good things to you.

But rarely is positivity in itself enough. So much of professional success is in the hustle, and sometimes you have to get shameless with it. Ask every friend and/or acquaintance if they know of any open positions. Use social media. Post it on Facebook, and any other relevant social media networks. If things are looking especially dire, think about other areas in which your skills could be valuable — maybe it's managing an office, or perhaps academia. Maybe there's a passion you've never tapped into! Most importantly: Keep up the good fight and know, at the very least, you've got two witches on the other side of world rooting for you.

Goddess bless,

The Witches

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Send your questions and concerns to witches@buzzfeed.com.

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