Last night, on August 5 in the year of our Lord Harry Styles 2015, we saw One Direction at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.
We came prepared with customized shirts.
Last year, we had nosebleed seats. This year, blessedly, we were on the floor.
We warmed up with Icona Pop,* whom we already liked, but whom we are now obsessed with. They were very good, and VERY cool.
Then it was time. When the boys first walked to the end of the stage to sing, we lost our minds trying to capture them.
As Harry girls, most of our documentation revolved around him.
A particularly charming moment came when Harry tried to matchmake a 9-year-old boy.
At one point he made what we thought was a comment about moving to New York and our delicate hearts couldn't handle it.
In the lead-up to "Through the Dark," Harry called out two dads who weren't clapping/stomping as he'd requested. It was very adorable.
1D dads are very committed and endearing, but also not who we would've wanted to stand next to when we were newly pubescent girls in hormonal frenzies.
The band played their new single "Drag Me Down," and Harry's vocals at the end laid waste to the entire stadium.
Based on volume and pitch of screams, Niall seemed to be the fan favorite, which is understandable since he's an adorable angel-faced ham who brings frequent attention to his general groin area.
Listen to the distress caused by those jaunty lil' legs! The butt shake!
Had we been wearing pearls, we would have literally clutched them when he slid his hand down his crotch during "Better Than Words."
Fans seemed concerned for Louis in the wake of news about his forthcoming progeny, holding up signs that said "Keep Smiling Louis."
Harry did a good deal of his signature water throwing and spitting, to great acclaim. Toward the end of the night, fans tried to reciprocate by throwing water at him, but he sidestepped it with the grace of a long-limbed bird.
When Liam teased Harry about his tattoos, the crowd erupted into a pleading chant for Harry to take off his shirt. He didn't.
We didn't get the memo that we were supposed to do this, but a lot of people did and it was very touching.
Harry and Liam sang "Happy Birthday" to a fan whose name we think was maybe "Bexy," who turned 25 yesterday.
Liam was the only member to make a costume change, switching from a white tee to a green button-down and donning one of Harry's old hats.
The whole two hours were equal parts ecstasy and agony, so good it physically pained us and we needed to be released.
They closed (on a four-song encore, bless them) with "Best Song Ever," and together we thanked the universe for allowing us to experience and appreciate such magic as boy band mania.