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The Definitive Ranking Of Santas By Hotness

Ho ho HOOOOOO, baby.

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22. Bill Goldberg, Santa's Slay

Media 8 Entertainment / Via feastingonroadkill.com

This Santa Claus is murdering entire families right out of the gate. Wikipedia describes it thusly: "Santa arrives at Hell Township and proceeds to kill the locals in various holiday-themed ways." Rude/not hot. Good muscles though.

17. Edmund Gwenn, Miracle on 34th Street

20th Century Fox / Via telegraph.co.uk

Possibly the Santa most dedicated to being Santa there ever was. Why? What moves him to be Santa? It's a mystery, which is appealing.

15. Robert Brian Wilson, Silent Night, Deadly Night

Slayride / Via lordnasebyblog.blogspot.com

What Wilson's Evil Santa has that Goldberg's lack is a great catchphrase: yelling "NAUGHTY" at people before killing them with an axe. Looks like if your 1980s football captain became a serial killer Santa.

11. The Grinch as Santa Claus, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

The Cat in the Hat Productions / Via backinjack.blogspot.com

Crafty and grumpy, but moved by caroling and gestures of kindness. Willing to grow. Great dog.

10. Jim Carrey as the Grinch as Santa Claus, How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Getty Images / Via Universal Pictures

Some trade-offs vs. other Grinch Santas here: a more pallid shade of green in skin, but three-dimensional.

6. Jack Skellington as Santa Claus, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Touchstone Pictures / Via fanpop.com

Almost *too* into Christmas, if such a thing were possible. Good at sewing. In great shape.

4. Mickey Rooney, The Year Without A Santa Claus

Rankin/Bass Productions / Via lfab-uvm.blogspot.com

Delightful voice, delightful shades of pink and purple, the only thing remiss with this Santa is his (temporary) shaken commitment to Being Santa. But even the good ones get tired.

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