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The Definitive Ranking Of Santas By Hotness

Ho ho HOOOOOO, baby.

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22. Bill Goldberg, Santa's Slay

Media 8 Entertainment / Via

This Santa Claus is murdering entire families right out of the gate. Wikipedia describes it thusly: "Santa arrives at Hell Township and proceeds to kill the locals in various holiday-themed ways." Rude/not hot. Good muscles though.


15. Robert Brian Wilson, Silent Night, Deadly Night

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What Wilson's Evil Santa has that Goldberg's lack is a great catchphrase: yelling "NAUGHTY" at people before killing them with an axe. Looks like if your 1980s football captain became a serial killer Santa.


10. Jim Carrey as the Grinch as Santa Claus, How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Getty Images / Via Universal Pictures

Some trade-offs vs. other Grinch Santas here: a more pallid shade of green in skin, but three-dimensional.


4. Mickey Rooney, The Year Without A Santa Claus

Rankin/Bass Productions / Via

Delightful voice, delightful shades of pink and purple, the only thing remiss with this Santa is his (temporary) shaken commitment to Being Santa. But even the good ones get tired.

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