1. Sign Up, Add “Handsome” To Your Handle
I think looks-based compliments, especially, are like nicknames: It’s uncomfortable if you give them to yourself! Please just have a normal Twitter handle, your name or otherwise. There is a teen girl in the U.K. who has my name (and her name, allegedly) as her handle, but you don’t see me adding complimentary prefixes to my handle to lure you in under false pretenses.
2. Go To All The Cool Twitter Parties
Who goes to a Twitter party? Personal brands. What do they serve at a Twitter party? Platters of the same joke, reheated. (Ugh, sorry.) What do you wear to a Twitter party? Unnatural lighting. Is this a real thing? I think Twitter parties just mean normal parties in which you sit on your phone, talking to nobody, tweeting. You could try it.
- An adult film actress says Donald Trump, or someone on his behalf, offered her $10,000 and the use of his private jet to come to his suite.
- A right-leaning nonprofit is planning to place news articles critical of Clinton in black newspapers ahead of the election 📰
- AT&T has made a deal to buy Time Warner — owner of CNN, HBO, and Warner Bros. — in one of the biggest acquisitions ever 💰
- A black metal band crashed a couple's engagement shoot and the photos are 🤘