1. Sign Up, Add “Handsome” To Your Handle
I think looks-based compliments, especially, are like nicknames: It’s uncomfortable if you give them to yourself! Please just have a normal Twitter handle, your name or otherwise. There is a teen girl in the U.K. who has my name (and her name, allegedly) as her handle, but you don’t see me adding complimentary prefixes to my handle to lure you in under false pretenses.
2. Go To All The Cool Twitter Parties
Who goes to a Twitter party? Personal brands. What do they serve at a Twitter party? Platters of the same joke, reheated. (Ugh, sorry.) What do you wear to a Twitter party? Unnatural lighting. Is this a real thing? I think Twitter parties just mean normal parties in which you sit on your phone, talking to nobody, tweeting. You could try it.
- Heritage Foundation, a conservative think thanks, is cold-emailing potential candidates to serve in a potential Trump administration 🔴
- Hillary Clinton's campaign is making an unprecedented play for Utah, a state that hasn't gone blue since 1964 🔵
- In case you were wondering, no — a big cyber attack couldn't swing the election.
- Kesha fans rejoice: Sony just confirmed that a new album is in the works 🎵