2. What kind of dumb-ass shape is this for a food?
Sorry, stock photo girl, but nobody starts eating their candy cane hook-first, because that is impossible and very drool-y.
3. If you DO eat candy canes the right way, you will automatically create a lethal weapon.
This is literally a lance. How is this seasonally appropriate??? Would Santa approve???????
4. Like, LOOK AT THIS.
Candy Canes: They’re Just Not Safe.
5. Another fact: Nobody has ever made it all the way through a candy cane. Ever.
It’s either gonna break, or you’re gonna give up, because eating an entire candy cane takes upwards of two years.
6. And don’t even get me started on the mini candy canes.
Thanks for nothing, DMV!! Thanks for this broken trash, dermatologist’s waiting room!!
7. Let us not even SPEAK of the false, fruity candy cane.
You cannot make us eat this shit year-round. You just can’t.
8. What the fuck is this, blueberry?
10. Why pretend as though you have gifted your coworkers a seasonal treat when we both know the candy cane is a glorified breath mint?
11. This guy’s got the right idea.
Candy canes are very bad. Do not buy them for anyone this year.
12. OK, here is one acceptable use for candy canes: making hot cocoa (a great thing) slightly minty-er.
This is fine.
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