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Food

Proof That Candy Canes Are The Fucking Worst

You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.

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Let's get one thing straight: candy canes are the candy corn of the holiday season.

Lisa Sieczka / Getty Images

(For the record, I actually like candy corn, but you get what I mean: these are seasonal and deeply polarizing candy items of questionable value.)

If you DO eat candy canes the right way, you will automatically create a lethal weapon.

Instagram: @_tigermillionaire_

This is literally a lance. How is this seasonally appropriate??? Would Santa approve???????

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Like, LOOK AT THIS.

Instagram: @malayzn87

Candy Canes: They're Just Not Safe.

Another fact: Nobody has ever made it all the way through a candy cane. Ever.

Jennifer Boggs / Getty Images

It's either gonna break, or you're gonna give up, because eating an entire candy cane takes upwards of two years.

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Why pretend as though you have gifted your coworkers a seasonal treat when we both know the candy cane is a glorified breath mint?

Instagram: @jasonjmarshall
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