Food

Proof That Candy Canes Are The Fucking Worst

You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.

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Let's get one thing straight: candy canes are the candy corn of the holiday season.

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(For the record, I actually like candy corn, but you get what I mean: these are seasonal and deeply polarizing candy items of questionable value.)

What kind of dumb-ass shape is this for a food?

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Sorry, stock photo girl, but nobody starts eating their candy cane hook-first, because that is impossible and very drool-y.

If you DO eat candy canes the right way, you will automatically create a lethal weapon.

Instagram: @_tigermillionaire_

This is literally a lance. How is this seasonally appropriate??? Would Santa approve???????

Like, LOOK AT THIS.

Instagram: @malayzn87

Candy Canes: They're Just Not Safe.

Another fact: Nobody has ever made it all the way through a candy cane. Ever.

Jennifer Boggs / Getty Images

It's either gonna break, or you're gonna give up, because eating an entire candy cane takes upwards of two years.

Why pretend as though you have gifted your coworkers a seasonal treat when we both know the candy cane is a glorified breath mint?

Instagram: @jasonjmarshall