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Proof That Candy Canes Are The Fucking Worst

You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.

Let's get one thing straight: candy canes are the candy corn of the holiday season.

What kind of dumb-ass shape is this for a food?

If you DO eat candy canes the right way, you will automatically create a lethal weapon.


Another fact: Nobody has ever made it all the way through a candy cane. Ever.

And don't even get me started on the mini candy canes.

Let us not even SPEAK of the false, fruity candy cane.

What the fuck is this, blueberry?

Why keep making something that is born to languish in the clearance aisle come December 26th?

Why pretend as though you have gifted your coworkers a seasonal treat when we both know the candy cane is a glorified breath mint?

This guy's got the right idea.

OK, here is one acceptable use for candy canes: making hot cocoa (a great thing) slightly minty-er.