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    9 Ways To Protect Yourself In The Event Of Alien Abduction

    I mean it can't hurt.

    1. Location Earth Dog Tags

    2.

    3. Pleading the blood of Jesus Christ.

    4. A Thought Screen Helmet.

    5. Dark window shades.

    6. Stop eating pizza before bedtime.

    7. Stop smoking Pot.

    8. $10 million UFO Abduction Insurance.

    9. Aether Energy Orgone Blasters.