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21 Things Only People With No Butt Whatsoever Understand

What it's like to be part of the assless masses.

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1. The total mystification with which you look at Kim Kardashian butt selfies.

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2. And the (probably too high) amount of time you've spent scrolling through Jen Selter's Instagram.

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It's just ... how.

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6. The very brief, NOT at all serious, definitelyyyy not serious and totally joking, COMPLETELY joking consideration of purchasing a product called "booty boosters."

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7. And/or these allegedly magic jeans.

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Hmmmm.

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9. The negotiation/reluctant acceptance stage.

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11. The belief that some number of squats can transform you into Nicki Minaj.

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13. National Ass Day, a day you'll NEVER be able to celebrate.

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What are the parties like? You'll never know.

15. You work hard to avoid bottoms with clothing/logos on them, because WHY would you want ATTENTION drawn to your near-invisible butt??

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16. Jeans-makers: They'll never understand.

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17. That thing where it's ALMOST like you have a butt, if you bend over at a 90-degree angle.

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18. Not even button-flap back pockets can help you.

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20. Whoever is in charge of making swimsuit bottoms is not making them for you.

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21. You feel just slightly personally affronted when Ludacris says, "If there ain't no ass where I'm at, then I'm in the wrong place."

View this video on YouTube

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Look, Ludacris. You and me BOTH would like there to be more ass here than there is currently.

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