1. You can finish the show's intro from memory.
2. You can identify the season you're watching by the length of Olivia Benson's hair.
3. You've scheduled social obligations around SVU marathons.
4. You've physically gotten up from your couch/bed to cheer for an Olivia Benson line.
5. You've convinced yourself you have a special talent for detecting guilt.
6. You've made mental notes for a spin-off show centered on M.E. Warner.
7. You suffered more emotional turmoil at the hands of Benson and Stabler than you have in any relationship of your own.
9. However. Nick Amaro has been a VERY pleasant surprise.
10. You've seen Rollaro fan fiction on Tumblr. BARELY skimmed. Only read a little.
11. You speak about court procedure with the authority of a 23-year-old who's completed one semester of law school.
12. You've applied psychoanalysis you learned from Dr. Huang to your friends and family members.
13. You know there can only be one.
One of these women represents the fight for true justice. The other is a mere simulacrum.