17 Reasons Lakes Are Inherently Superior To Oceans
Superior. Get it??
Because there's nothing better than walking to the edge of a lake dock.
(Except for jumping off one.)
Because it's a BAD idea to tube in the ocean. You will die.
Because you can get a little lake water in your eyes and mouth and still be happy/okay.
This is how getting ocean water in your eyes and mouth will make you feel.
Because this is (just about) the worst/scariest creature you'll find in most lakes.
And THIS Is the one you'll find in the ocean.
Because there is nothing prettier than a lake surrounded by mountains under a blue sky.
Except, maybe, for a lake surrounded by mountains at twilight.
Because floating docks are the most peaceful places in the world.
And because floating TRAMPOLINES are the single greatest invention of the 21st century.
Because these people are trying to have a good, relaxed time lying on the ocean shore, and they are F#$#ING MISERABLE.
And because this is never, EVER coming all the way off. Not ever.
Because there is no greater majesty than a giant, ugly, wonderful pontoon.
(Except for a boozy pontoon PARTY.)
Because the lake cabin is the greatest possible getaway.
And because each of them is like its own beautiful, perfectly contained little world.
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