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17 Reasons Lakes Are Inherently Superior To Oceans

Superior. Get it??

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1. Because there's nothing better than walking to the edge of a lake dock.

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2. (Except for jumping off one.)

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3. Because it's a BAD idea to tube in the ocean. You will die.

The salt spray alone would ruin you. Lakes, on the other hand, are meant for this.
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The salt spray alone would ruin you. Lakes, on the other hand, are meant for this.

4. Because you can get a little lake water in your eyes and mouth and still be happy/okay.

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5. This is how getting ocean water in your eyes and mouth will make you feel.

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6. Because this is (just about) the worst/scariest creature you'll find in most lakes.

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7. And THIS Is the one you'll find in the ocean.

(I know people SAY that sharks are, like, only in "parts" of the ocean or whatever, but are there underwater shark gates keeping them from one day deciding to come after YOU, even if you're only in two-foot shallows and everyone says you're being "paranoid"? No. There are not.)
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(I know people SAY that sharks are, like, only in "parts" of the ocean or whatever, but are there underwater shark gates keeping them from one day deciding to come after YOU, even if you're only in two-foot shallows and everyone says you're being "paranoid"? No. There are not.)

8. Because there is nothing prettier than a lake surrounded by mountains under a blue sky.

(Maligne Lake in Canada)
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(Maligne Lake in Canada)

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9. Except, maybe, for a lake surrounded by mountains at twilight.

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(Phewa Lake, Nepal)

10. Because floating docks are the most peaceful places in the world.

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11. And because floating TRAMPOLINES are the single greatest invention of the 21st century.

Trampolines are TOO SCARY, except for when the only thing to fall into is water.
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Trampolines are TOO SCARY, except for when the only thing to fall into is water.

12. Because these people are trying to have a good, relaxed time lying on the ocean shore, and they are F#$#ING MISERABLE.

Look at them grimacing.
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Look at them grimacing.

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13. And because this is never, EVER coming all the way off. Not ever.

That sand will follow you to your grave. Hope it was worth it.
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That sand will follow you to your grave. Hope it was worth it.

14. Because there is no greater majesty than a giant, ugly, wonderful pontoon.

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15. (Except for a boozy pontoon PARTY.)

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16. Because the lake cabin is the greatest possible getaway.

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17. And because each of them is like its own beautiful, perfectly contained little world.

(Lake Superior, North Shore)
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(Lake Superior, North Shore)