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13 Places Where You'd Actually Be OK Seeing Your Ex

Nowhere else, though.

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1. Courtside at a Knicks game that you are attending with your good friend Rihanna.

2. At the gym, where you have just deadlifted your own body weight and several trainers have gathered around to watch, and you see them on the elliptical.

3. At the back of an airplane on which you are flying business class on someone else's dime to an important conference in California, where you're standing at the end of a very long line of increasingly disgruntled passengers who are waiting to use the bathroom, and the guy in front of you is like, "SOMEone's having some trouble," and when the door finally opens, and the first few people in line wince and avoid eye contact, it's your ex.

4. At your inauguration as president of the United States.

5. On the red carpet, you as the star and them as the person hired to hold the trailing hem of someone else's dress, a garish and overwrought mess that will make the Fashion Police legitimately angry.

6. Sitting at the very bottom of the Grand Canyon, only just barely recognizable through the binoculars you're looking through from where you stand at the edge with a dog you love very much.

7. At the edge of a field, where you are waiting to be picked up by the helicopter that will take you to the foreign city at the center of the international crime syndicate which you are about to crack wide open, and they are mowing the lawn in jorts.

8. In the crowd at an impromptu dance battle that has formed in an abandoned lot, in the middle of a rainstorm, as the other crew steps back to give you more space, because in watching you perform everyone there has forgotten that this was ever meant to be a competition, and not just a celebration of dance itself.

9. On your way down from and their way up to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro.

10. In purgatory, just after your group has been organized into two lines like they do on talent shows, and the angel in charge tells you that the first row (which is yours) has been cleared for heaven, and as for the second row…well, all she can say is that she's very sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

11. At the zoo, where they have somehow become trapped in the snake enclosure.

12. In the very early stages of the zombie apocalypse — like, we're talking maybe five minutes in — and you see that they have already been turned into a zombie, and even though you are frightened for your life, and you know things are only going to get worse from here, you have to laugh.

13. In line at Target, your arms full of produce and various organic seeds, and theirs full of pizza Lunchables.