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1.A talking toilet paper spindle that allows you to record your own message, music, or sound to give your family and friends a good laugh while they're wiping. Just make sure you don't accidentally tape yourself talking ~shit~.
2.A motion sensor toilet night-light so you can have ragers in your bathroom. Oh, and to help you from falling on your ass when you gotta go in the middle of the night.
3.A squatty potty that'll help put you in the perfect position to drop the kids off at the pool with ease.
4.A Tootsie Tush toilet seat warmer because who likes a cold bum? Plug this in and put the seat down, so the next time you go to the bathroom, your bottom will be nice and warm.
5.A probiotic and prebiotic gummy vitamin that's said to support a healthy digestive tract and nourish your gut's good bacteria. Basically, it may help keep your belly balanced and regular so you won't feel ~crappy~.
6.A bidet, because why would you wipe your butt when you can wash it? This easy-to-install device will seriously up your bathroom game.
7.A bathroom guestbook so you can keep tabs on everyone who has taken a dump in your bathroom. It's also great ~shiterature~ if you need a lil' distraction to help you go.
9.Poopouri, so you'll be prepared when ~doody~ calls. Just give this a spritz before you go and no one has to know what you're up to in there.
10.Shittens that'll help you efficiently clean yourself up after a big #2. No dingleberries here, people.
11.A GoGirl urination device so you won't have to wonder whether you're peeing on your leg (or not?) while hovering over a public toilet — you can now pee standing up.
12.A toilet cleaning wand that'll lift your ~shitty~ mood when you can go to the bathroom on a sparkly clean toilet. Plus, the wand has a nifty little switch that lets you drop the head right into the trash so you don't have to touch any nastiness and the brush doesn't grow bacteria.