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15 Ways Bicycling Isn't How You Remember

Just like riding a bike, except add a few pounds and a much stronger fear of death.

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1. Excruciating butt pain

How did you do this every day after school when you were a kid? How do you still have a butt at all? Hope you have someone willing to give you a butt massage, cuz those cheeks are blushed.

7. You’re slower than all the other commuters and it’s embarrassing

You know those suits decked out in LL Bean zipping by tick you off their personal best lists. They’ll relish in the memory at their high power jobs and Cross Fit sessions while you still try to figure out how to down-shift.

10. Friends/family/coworkers are suddenly shouting "UGH BIKERS ARE MY PET PEEVE" at you

"I hope you're not one of THOSE bikers. Do you follow the rules of the road?"

:( Can't you see I'm just trying to save the planet?

13. You think you're saving the planet.

When you were a kid, you biked for fun and because it got you to the pool faster. Now you get to calculate your carbon footprint and post it smugly on Facebook.

14. You bike because it saves you buko bucks.

Despite all the sweat, butt pain and close encounters with the concrete, the wind in your hair and extra cash in your pocket makes it all worth it.

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