1. Give birth to twins and name them Meredith and Olivia.
If you're not expecting twins, you can always hyphenate the names and call your only child Meredith-Olivia. You can also combine them to be "Merlivia" or "Olive-dith" to make its origin extra mysterious.
2. NAME YOUR BABY "BECKY." JUST "BECKY."
DO IT. NO QUESTIONS.
And if anyone tries to correct you, you know what to do.
3. Name your baby "Alison."
Since "Alison" is Taylor's middle name, it's clever to make it your baby's first. It will also mislead everyone because "Alison" reminds people of the girl on Pretty Little Liars. PSYCH BITCHES, It's actually in honor of T-Swift.
4. Give your baby a three-part name so their initials become T.A.Y.
Here are some examples to get your baby-naming juices flowing:
Tessa Annie Yolanda
Tiffany Alice Yang
Trent Angus Yiddie
Tiger Alejandro Yeezus
It's super cool for kids to use their initials as nicknames — take TJ from Recess and JC from NSYNC, for example. If anyone ever mentions that "TAY" reminds them of Taylor Swift, it's totally chill for you to say, "Oh shit, what a coincidence."
5. Name your baby "Rolyat."
If you name your baby "Rolyat" everyone will be blown away by its freshness and originality. It's super unique, which is trendy as shit, so never tell anyone it's actually just "Taylor" spelt backwards. LOL GOT 'EM.
6. Name your baby any of these boys names: Calvin, Brandon, Sam, Joe, Lucas, Jake, John, Conor, Harry.
You know why.
Important side note: Do not (I repeat, DO NOT) name your baby "Drew." He will become the heartbreaker that makes girls cry on their guitars.
WHY DID YOU MAKE TAYLOR CRY, DREW? WHY DIDN'T YOU LOVE HER BACK?
7. Conceive a child with someone whose last name is a synonym of "Swift."
The word "swift" can be defined as "happening quickly or promptly." Find someone whose last name shares the same meaning. The names "Brisk," "Fast," "Rapid," "Prompt," and "Sudden," work, for example. You can probably search Facebook until you find someone who looks under 70. Do it for your child. Do it for T-Swizzle.
PRO TIP: MAKE YOUR BABY ON MARCH 13. MARK YOUR CALENDAR.
If you conceive on this date, there's a good chance your baby will have the same birthday as Taylor (Dec. 13). Like OOPS, YOUR B. OBVIOUSLY YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT NINE MONTHS IN ADVANCE.
GOOD LUCK, SUPERSTAR. GO MAKE THOSE BABIES.
Thumbnails courtesy of Big Machine Records