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13 Inappropriate Truths From Classic Christmas Songs

Bringing you some wholesome, family friendly Christmas cheer.

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2. "Grandma Died, Let's Party."


Why doesn't anyone care that their fragile, drunk Grandma left the house to get her meds and was brutally attacked by a deer?

See: "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," Elmo and Patsy


5. "Let's get drunk in my car and tell me how you're in a loveless marriage."

Walt Disney Pictures / Via

"She would have liked to say she loved the man, but she didn't like to lie."

See: "Same Old Lang Syne," Dan Fogelberg

6. Mr. Kringle can get away with sexual harrassment because he gives out gifts afterward.


Jingle my bells old man.

"Old Mr. Kringle is soon gonna jingle, the bells that'll tingle all your troubles away."

See: "The Man With the Bag," Kay Karr


8. What if the Grinch was just born with a birth defect? Chew on that one.


I guess that could also be a reasonable defense in a court of law for breaking and entering?

See: "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch," Thurl Ravenscroft ... and basically the whole Grinch story.

9. You must have been a real dick if your S.O. and friends all abandoned you at Christmas.

New Line Cinema / Via

Might want to start on those New Year's resolutions early this year...

See: "Please Come Home For Christmas," Charles Brown

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