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    25 Perfect And Hilarious Cold Opens From "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" That Belong In A Museum

    It's still unclear if Kelly is Scully's wife or his dog.

    1. The one where Jake and the suspect lineup sing "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys.

    Jake asking the lineup to sing "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    2. The one where Boyle caught a big ol' Dianne Wiest infection.

    Boyle saying he caught a "Dianne Wiest" infection and explaining it's "like yeast" to Jake
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    3. The one where Captain Holt reveals to Jake he mastered the oopsie doodle.

    Captain Holt explaining to Jake that he broke his wrist hula-hooping with his husband, and saying he only told Jake because no one would ever believe him
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    4. The one where no one knows if Kelly is Scully's wife or dog.

    Jake questioning if Kelly is Scully's wife or dog, Scully getting offended, and Jake still not knowing the answer
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    5. The one where Boyle weirdly hits the nail on the head during the Captain Holt impersonation contest.

    Boyle doing a weird impression of Captain Holt's reaction to eating a marshmallow and Captain Holt eating a marshmallow with that exact reaction
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    6. The one where the squad places bets on why Amy is late to work for the first time ever.

    Holt forcing Amy to reveal why she's late and getting excited because it was his guess
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    7. The one where Holt breaks into Jake and Amy's bedroom in preparation for the yearly Halloween Heist.

    Jake and Amy waking up and wondering where Jake's breakfast went and Holt turning on a light to reveal he broke into the bedroom and ate it
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    8. The one where Boyle comes festively dressed for Thanksgiving, but has to deliver tragic news to a missing person's family as a turkey.

    Boyle in good spirits dressed as a turkey and Jake trying to shut him up so he can deliver tragic news about a couple's missing grandmother
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    9. The one where Jake slides across the entire bullpen during the night shift, but gets caught by Captain Holt coming up the elevator.

    Jake screaming in fear as he slides into Captain Holt, but Captain Holt and Jake exiting the elevator victorious because Jake made it across the full bullpen
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    10. The one where Amy ignores Holt's no-present rule and leaves an unidentifiable gift box on his desk, which he immediately mistakes for a bomb.

    Jake recapping that Amy left an unmarked box on Holt's desk and Holt coming out of his office warning everyone there is a bomb on his desk
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    11. The one where Jake, Rosa, and Holt consume so much cold brew that it seems like everyone else is moving in slow motion.

    Boyle trying to make Jake, Rosa, and Holt slow down and revealing that everyone is normal so they are the ones moving fast
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    12. The one where Captain Holt devises a legendary punishment for Jake's perpetual tardiness in the form of secret handshakes with the rest of the precinct.

    Holt saying he created an intricate personal high five with everyone in the office except for Jake and Jake looking like he's in actual pain as Holt dishes the high fives out
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    13. The one where Boyle and Terry show up to work wearing the same outfit.

    Boyle forcing the office to reveal who wore the outfit better and everyone unanimously saying Terry
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

     

    14. The one where Jake brings a tarantula from a drug bust to work, only for the spider to immediately go missing and end up on arachnophobic Terry's head.

    Jake rattling off spider name puns such as "spidey klum" and "Joe Spiden"
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

     

    15. The one where Captain Holt diffuses a tense situation with a civilian through the art of a dance-off.

    Captain Holt challenging a civilian to a dance-off
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

     

    16. The one where a depressed Boyle is awakened from his dream where Jake comes home from prison.

    Boyle eating a stick of butter and saying he's depressed
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

     

    17. The one where the precinct plays a "devious" prank on Captain Holt, which entailed moving his podium half an inch to the left.

    Captain Holt laughing hysterically when he notices his podium is off center
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

     

    18. The one where the Nine-Nine celebrates the success of Boyle bullpen bottle bowling with a babushka.

    The precinct rolling Boyle into a stack of old water jugs and celebrating when an elderly eastern European woman screams "Babushka"
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

     

    19. The one where a flashback reveals Hitchcock and Scully used to be HOT!

    Two attractive men make an arrest and it's revealed they are Hitchcock and Scully
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    20. The one where the group holds a frosted tip intervention for Jake, and Boyle arrives sporting the same haircut 30 seconds too late.

    Jake and Boyle screaming "no" when they realize they won't have matching frosted tips, but Jake admitting the look is bad when he sees it on Boyle
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    21. The one where Boyle mistakenly admits to sleeping with a 68-year-old woman when he was 20 during a conversation about the detectives' oldest arrests.

    Boyle saying he bagged a 68 year old woman and people realizing he means slept with instead of arresting
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

    22. The one where Jake has a panic attack after getting locked in an interrogation room, causing the suspect to come clean.

    Jake freaking out after being locked in an interrogation room
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    23. The one where Boyle's big award is upstaged by Sergeant Peanut Butter.

    Jake gleefully telling Captain Holt that Boyle is getting upstaged by a horse
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

     

    24. The one where ants wreak havoc over the precinct.

    Captain Holt trying to freeze the ants out, but the ants just nestling in the groups coats instead of their desks
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

      

    25. And finally, the one where Jake accidentally calls Holt "dad."

    Jake calling Holt "dad" and everyone staring at him
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    NBCUniversal / Via youtube.com

     

    If you don't see your favorite Brooklyn Nine-Nine cold open on this list, tell us about it in the comment section below!