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13 Things People With Moles Know To Be True

Holy moley.

1. You have molespirations.

*m{r}ole models*

Marilyn.

Sean Gallup / Getty Images

Cindy Crawford.

Ms. Pacman.

HBIC.
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Rachel McAdams.

Mark Blinch / Reuters

Blake Lively.

Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

Bobby D.

Tony Gentile / Reuters

Eva Mendes.

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision / AP
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By extension, Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling's baby.

2. You detest mole traitors.

WHY.

AP Photo/Evan Agostini, File
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NO.

Neilson Barnard / Getty Images

Where is his disembodied mole now?

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3. The looming fear of shaving one off is a serious impediment to your life.

b-d-s/b-d-s

4. You have at one point in your life played connect the dots with your moles.

wildpixel/wildpixel

5. You have nightmares about water park slide friction.

*My precious back moles*
Omar Sobhani / Reuters

*My precious back moles*

6. Nightmares about necklaces.

Please don't stab my neck moles.
ronstik/ronstik

Please don't stab my neck moles.

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7. You've contemplated cutting off/plucking the hair that grows out of them.

inbj/inbj

8. But then you don't follow through because you secretly think it adds character/you read somewhere one time that you're not "supposed" to cut it.

rob_lan/rob_lan

9. Or you have followed through and watched your hair grow back twice as long as before.

10. Your greatest regrets are all the times you accidentally scratched your moles.

OW. NO. WHAT HAVE I DONE? PLEASE STILL BE ATTACHED TO MY BODY.
LEA PATERSON/LEA PATERSON

OW. NO. WHAT HAVE I DONE? PLEASE STILL BE ATTACHED TO MY BODY.

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11. Any situation with guacamole is an opportunity to draw attention to your plentiful moles.

Guacamoley moley—who wants to see my lower back moles! Thanks, built-in wordplay!
Iamthatiam/Iamthatiam

Guacamoley moley—who wants to see my lower back moles!

Thanks, built-in wordplay!

12. You frequently think about what the shapes of your moles resemble.

Wow, my mole kind of looks like [insert country].
AustralisPhotography/AustralisPhotography

Wow, my mole kind of looks like [insert country].

And finally:

13. You think every single mole on your body is cancerous.

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Definitely cancerous.

Wavebreakmedia Ltd/Wavebreakmedia Ltd

Melanoma.

Wavebreakmedia Ltd/Wavebreakmedia Ltd

No question about it.

Wavebreakmedia Ltd/Wavebreakmedia Ltd

Dermatologist: "Your moles are fine. Not cancerous."

AlexRaths/AlexRaths

You: "OK, so still cancerous."

Dean Bertoncelj/Dean Bertoncelj
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