Life is hard when you're lazy.
You didn't choose the lethargic life.
The lethargic life chose you.
1. You are the one on the right.
2. Even when you do wake up, you lie in bed for another 10 minutes.
3. Washing your hair is a workout.
4. What is hair product?
5. You can't tolerate wet hair.
6. But blowdrying your hair is also a workout that you are not willing to expend energy on.
7. Too much time and dry heat.
8. Your makeup routine consists of eyeliner.
9. And only eyeliner.
10. So you're ready in about 10 seconds.
11. "Accessorizing" is not a thing.
12. Or if you do accessorize, you wear the same things every damn time, so you might as well not even accessorize.
13. And of the accessories that you have, 100% of them were gifts from other people.
Wow, dainty bangles that I will never wear — how did you know?!?!
14. You haven't worn earrings in so long that your earring holes have essentially closed.
15. You throw all of your potential outfits on the floor.
16. "Outfits."
17. And then your floor just becomes your closet.
18. And you resort to one of the solid 10 outfits you've been rotating in your wardrobe for the last three years.
19. And these 10 "outfits" are actually just 10 different dresses.
20. You have one sweater/cardigan and you only use it ICE (in case of emergency aka in cold establishments).
21. Nope.
22. Never.
23. Fine, but you will unbutton the fewest buttons possible to squeeze your head through.
24. You can't remember the last time you untied and tied your laces to get your sneakers on.
25. Actually, the majority of your shoes are slip-ons or faux lace-ups with side zippers.
26. How you feel after wearing heels or constrictive clothing after 15 minutes.
27. Walking up a flight of stairs in heels = scaling a mountain.
28. "Heels."
29. Shopping for leisure does not make sense to you.
30. And shopping for specific items of clothing/occasions is still the worst and you avoid it at all costs.
31. Once your bra or your pants are off for the day, they're not going back on.
32. You've seriously contemplated wearing a blanket as clothing.
33. And then you realize that's how the Snuggie was created.
Go forth and work on your night cheese.
