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    An Open Letter To Adult Acne

    Not paying for postage, I already pay for acne cream.

    Hello there, adult acne.

    Hope all is well.

    Nope that was a lie.

    Because I sincerely HATE YOU.

    and Paul Giamatti is blue. —a poem

    You are the worst kind of swole.

    The kind of swole I can maybe tolerate:

    The kind of swole I no longer have the wherewithal to tolerate:

    I don't mean to burst your bubble.

    But no one invited you.

    You've been at this party since like 10.

    AND YOU WERE AT MY PARENT'S PARTY TOO??

    I wash my face.

    I mean I don't wash it like this^ because no one does.

    I eat right and exercise.

    Shaddim / Via en.wikipedia.org

    But I guess that doesn't matter to you.

    This could be us.

    Fuse / Via Thinkstock

    But instead, I have pimps all over my face.

    But that's not all!!!

    You also show up on my chest and back and arms and butt (←which, HOW?).

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    But you will not win.

    What is a pimple to my soul?

    That's some Cartesian Dualism right there.

    NOTHING.

    A lot of other people also have acne.

    I can cover you up with makeup if I want to.

    Or I can ditch the makeup if I want to.

    All that matters is that I feel good about myself, regardless of how much real estate you have on my face or body.

    Because I am not my pimples.

    Warmest regards!!!!!