Brunch, Personified

Brunch is not a food group, it is the food group.

When you wake up in the morning

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Feeling distinctly unlike P. Diddy (he has people for his hangovers)

You have one unshakable thought:

Feed me.

And you try to entice the roommates into an adventure

Only the strongest can make it

Brunch is not for the weak.

So you make yourself presentable

(Or.. put pants on)

As long as someone's BAC is reasonable , the magic begins

If your favorite spot has an absurd line

Yeah, that's not going to work for us.

Eventually, you'll find somewhere to settle down for the feast

Some establishments may require a little false decorum

But you can blend among the more chic and sober patrons

Totally. Your norts are practically church attire.

Beverages can go one of two ways

As much caffeine as your body can handle...

Or some hair of the dog

Or both, because that's what makes brunch beautiful.

Half the fun is obviously recounting your night

Over some morning muploads and serious anticipation.

Unless it turns to your own shenanigans

You order the most unreasonable meal possible

They said Nutella was part of a balanced breakfast... I choose to believe that.

No remorse to that one friend subjecting brunch to her diet.

I pity you and your egg whites.

Visions of pastries dance in your head

Every tray of food that walks by is devastating

And just when you think the smell will actually drive you insane

(breathing intensifies)

Brunch is bestowed upon you

As soon as the plate hits the table, it is going down

Unless of course you hit up a buffet

The obviously superior method to funneling as many breakfast-esque creations into your mouth as possible. You already have life figured out though.

Much too soon, it's all but over

And you live to brunch another day.