1. Never tell someone that their dye job looks orange, it will never be taken as a compliment, even if you meant it to be.
2. The greatest contrast of emotion that you can experience is the happiness of starting a delicious meal paired with the utter despair when you first realise that you’ve almost finished eating.
3. It's okay to have a glass of wine in the afternoon, just save the hard spirits until the sun has set.
4. You'll never feel good about spending your rent money on a new foot massager.
5. It’s important to know a little something about the current state of government.
6. Never trust a person that doesn’t like dogs. They're probably plotting your death with the cats.
7. When you’re parents say, “I’m just trying to look out for you”, they’re usually just trying to prevent you from replicating their own embarrassing mistakes.
8. You should only move in with a friend that you're comfortable to be a total arsehole to.
9. Stop having dairy if you're lactose intolerant!
10. The best way to get revenge on someone is to be better than they are.
11. Chia seeds are a trendy scam. Don't fall for it!
12. Never have sex with a friend if you think you could ‘learn to like them’.
13. Don’t ever Google your symptoms, it will always come back as Cancer.
14. Don’t assume that every stranger you meet in a bar is going to be creepy. Just don’t be surprised if they are.
15. Don’t be ashamed to poo in a public toilet.
16. Your parents are awesome forms of inspiration.
17. Diets only work for 3% of the population.
18. One day your friends will become your family. Choose them wisely.
19. Drink lots of water, for the rest of your life.
20. It's important to feel sexy in your own skin.
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