22 Problems Only Hosts Will Understand

The everyday annoyances of being a host.

1. People who want a booth instead of a table.

2. People who switch tables right after you seat them.

3. “Can we sit outside?” is the last thing you want to hear.

4. When someone says “and a half” to describe their child. Your child is a whole person.

5. Customer: “We have four plus three highchairs and two slings.” Me: “So you have 9.”

6. When servers pile menus on the host stand instead of putting them where they’re supposed to go.

7. When a customer wants to sit at a dirty table so you end up having to clean it.

8. When a party of two wants to sit at a four-top.

Too bad.

9. Same-siders.

10. Bathroom checks.

11. When customers get mad at you when they have to wait longer than 30 minutes for a table of 10 on a Saturday night.

YOU DIDN’T HAVE A RESERVATION.

12. “I didn’t know you took reservations” a party of twelve says on a busy night.

13. Never leaving on your scheduled out time.

14. When the managers forget you’re there and then yell at you for wasting their money.

Trust me, I didn’t want to be here anyways.

15. When someone wants to sit in a section that doesn’t have a server.

16. When you have to train a new host on a busy night.

17. When the servers say your job is easy because you “just have to stand there.”

18. When parents let their kids sit on boosters onto of barstools.

I’m judging you.

19. Smelling delicious food all night that you can’t eat.

20. When people seat themselves. Am I invisible?

21. When reservations don’t show up.

22. Working so you can make money but never being able to go out because you’re always working.

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