Skip To Content

    22 Facts You'll Only Get Your Head Around After You Leave Essex

    Where are the tanning salons? Where?

    1. You never feel comfort like you do when you see the "Welcome to Essex" sign.

    2. You can't say more than a few words without people guessing where you're from.

    3. And then they'll try to do an impression, and it'll be awful.

    4. At some point, you'll realise that not everyone has done the ~horseriding thing~.

    5. Whenever you meet anyone else from Essex, you instantly have an unreal bond.

    6. But everyone else will keep asking you what it was liking growing up in London.

    7. You feel sad for people who never got to experience Southend Pier in the summertime.

    8. You'll never find a shopping centre that compares to Lakeside.

    9. But you will learn that even though Braintree Freeport is a bit crap, outlet shopping centres can be pretty decent.

    10. When you go home, all of your friends and family tell you that "you talk different now".

    11. All the rest of the UK knows about Essex is what they learnt from TOWIE.

    12. There'll come a day when you realise how much prettier landscapes are when they have hills in them.

    13. And how much better chips are when they're covered in cheese and gravy.

    14. People eat jam that isn't from the Tiptree Jam Factory.

    15. And don't even get us started on salt that isn't from Maldon.

    16. Personalised number plates are very much not the norm outside of Essex.

    17. Neither is getting pissed with your mate's mum at Christmas.

    18. You can't help but notice people don't make an effort on nights out like they do at home.

    19. Chanting "Essex! Essex!" outside a nightclub doesn't quite have the same reaction when you're not, you know, in Essex.

    20. The rest of the country is in dire need of a few more tanning salons.

    21. Essex is seriously frigging expensive.

    22. And you'll always get fiercely protective when people tell you that Essex is shit.