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24 Things Only Essex Girls Experience

No, babe. I won't do an impression of Amy Childs.

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1. Getting your girls together for a trip to Lakeside and desperately searching for the closest parking spot to the Primark entrance.

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2. Taking that one trip to Blue Water and never understanding why people would choose to go there over Lakeside.

It’s just full of expensive shops.
en.wikipedia.org

It’s just full of expensive shops.

3. Going up Romford market to buy a new dress for your friend’s house party, even though you knew it'd get covered in sick and cheap vodka.

4. Having at least one friend who overuses the word "babe", but loving her more for it.

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5. Going out drinking with "your lot", having it large on the dance floor, one of the girls kicking off, and getting kicked out.

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6. Knowing someone who knows a TOWIE cast member and humble-bragging about it while simultaneously slating the show.

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7. Going anywhere else in the UK and being asked to do an impression of Amy Childs.

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8. Leaving Essex and having to laugh off jokes about white stilettos and dancing around handbags from any 50-year-old blokes you encounter.

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9. Going abroad, being asked where you are from, and saying "near London", while silently praying they don’t ask where exactly incase they know the aforementioned jokes.

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10. Resenting the wannabe, fame-hungry lot who hang out at Sugar Hut now, because you went there before it was famous.

But still going there, you know, just incase anything happens.
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But still going there, you know, just incase anything happens.

11. Shopping around for the best deal on sun beds to get a tan before your next holiday.

Brentwood has HOW MANY salons now?!
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Brentwood has HOW MANY salons now?!

12. Trying to make "chick" happen after Michelle from BB graced our screens.

You've probably also used the phrases "well jel" and "reem" at least once, even if you told everyone it was only for banter.
Channel 4

You've probably also used the phrases "well jel" and "reem" at least once, even if you told everyone it was only for banter.

13. Furiously searching for a pair of wellington boots for V Festival, even though Chelmsford hasn’t seen rain for a week, and finding they are all sold out...

14. ...and then desperately trying to find somewhere to stay during V Festival so you don’t have to use your SheWee all weekend.

15. Being described as "banging" or "a sort" by Essex boys, and secretly loving it.

16. Knowing someone who went to school with Olly Murs, Keith Flint, Damon Albarn, Russell Brand, Joey Essex or Mark Wright, then proceeding to tell everyone who will listen the inside scoop.

Did you know Olly has a twin brother?
Getty

Did you know Olly has a twin brother?

17. Being confused when you visited Essex’s outlet shopping centre only to find it was in a dead-end town called Braintree and that to be quite frank, it’s shit.

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18. Discovering "Kent boys" or "the Kent lot" as a teenager, and feeling like you'd been exposed to an exotic breed of male.

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19. Going to Bas Vegas for a proper big night out with the girls.

20. Being in love with your new bikini from Primark until you go to Southend for the day and find every other bugger wearing it too. FYL.

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21. Spending your childhood riding horses, or listening to your friends describe their childhood of riding horses, because Essex.

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22. Being taken on dates to London being pretty much the classiest thing a bloke could EVER do...

Big Ben and the Palace of Westminster, London, UK
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Big Ben and the Palace of Westminster, London, UK

23. …with a close second being Colchester Zoo because animals.

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24. And finally, being immeasurably proud of where you're from.

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