1. You trust NO ONE.
2. You watch so many crimes shows you come to think of yourself as an actual detective.
3. In fact, you're practically a cop.
4. And you get mad at police officers on TV who aren't as good as you at crime solving.
5. One night stands terrify you because you can't help but suspect they're trying to kill you.
6. And if your friend says they've gone home with a Tinder date, you are SHOCKED they're still alive to tell the tale.
7. When you go hiking, you're almost positive you'll stumble upon a body.
8. You will NEVER get a life insurance policy, as it spells certain death.
9. Because of true crime shows, you're suspicious of all your exes.
10. You know every kind of self-defense, just in case everyone is, in fact, a serial killer.
11. You have a lot of confidence in your skills.
12. You know to leave your DNA everywhere you go in case the cops need to follow your trail...
13. ...although you already have multiple plans to escape an abductor, mostly based on what victims do wrong on Criminal Minds.
14. You just KNOW you could plan the perfect crime and wonder why more criminals don't watch crime shows.
15. You're almost certain your crime show-inspired paranoia has saved you from a dark end.
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