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We Know Which Canadian City You Should Never Live In
Who would want to live in the same place that Confederation happened? Where the history of Canada began?Not you, that's for sure. History is for suckers. Anne of Green Gables isn't that awesome, and potatoes aren't that delicious.
The world's biggest shopping mall with fun for all ages? Thousands of acres of parkland for people to use and enjoy? Friendly residents who just want to brighten your day? Nope, that's just not your thing.
You can't stand to slow down or take your time. Who has the patience to actually appreciate the world around them? Not you. And you'd never live in a place with two gorgeous university campuses. (One, maybe, but two is just showing off.)
Oh, you mean that insanely picturesque city featured on, like, every postcard ever? That place with delicious lobster? GROSS. NOPE. GO AWAY. (But seriously, Halifax, please get an IKEA.)
You know what you hate looking at? The Northern Lights. That beautiful natural phenomenon would bore you to tears if you lived in Iqaluit, as would the complex, fascinating history of the local Inuit population. No nature or enlightenment for you, thankyouverymuch.
THE WORST. Oh, a city that brings together both English- and French-speaking populations into a bustling metropolis? Several major sports teams that help foster a sense of community every year? The world's largest comedy festival that brings joy to everyone each summer? It's all so terrible.
Yeah, what torture to live in the place where the country's federal leaders congregate to shape Canada's future. You would hate to live near that much power and influence. Not to mention the stupid river that freezes in the winter so people literally skate on it like in a fairy tale. YAWN.
You hate wide-open spaces that let you see for miles, and you definitely wouldn't want to waste your time on beautiful collections in art galleries. Regina is definitely NOT the place for you, my friend.
St. John's doesn't impress you with its brightly-coloured houses, insanely friendly residents, and its bustling comedy community. You know what you hate? Joy. And that's why you're steering clear of St. John's.
Oh, yeah, you'd hate all of the stuff there is to do in Toronto. You'd despise all of the different attractions to satisfy any taste. Even worse, you'd hate the melting pot that combines the cultures and beliefs of millions of people into an intricate mosaic. Toronto is the worst, amiright?
Oh, god, no! Keep you away from the scenic mountains decorating the skyline, the ocean waves that beg you to surf them, and the temperate climate that never makes you freeze. Ugh, Vancouver, get your shit together.
You would hate to walk along trails that trace the ocean, and why are there so many goddamned trees everywhere? Yeah, we get it, Victoria, you have gardens. No need to brag about it.
What you hate most of all is nature. WHO CAN STAND AIR THAT'S SO CLEAN?! And it's so serene here that you keep being left alone with your own thoughts. HORRIBLE.
You mean the city that hosts the Canadian Museum For Human Rights? There are two things you hate in this world: humans and their rights. No thanks, Winnipeg.
There is nothing that drives you crazier than the ability to hike and camp and enjoy all that nature has to offer. You want a life of concrete and light pollution, and Yellowknife just can't deliver.
Yellowknife is in the Northwest Territories. A previous version of this post misstated it was in Yukon.