1.
Date: Do you have any hobbies? Me: Yes every day I log on to a website that poisons my mind and soul
2.
twitter culture is seeing a retweeted tweet on your timeline, going to the account, and finding that tweet so you d… https://t.co/gLIrPfBPn2
3.
me on twitter: hit me with a car lol me on job apps: im a self starter & team player who doesnt fantasize about getting run over by a car!
4.
I forgot you cant make depression jokes outside of twitter lmao my coworker was like “you ready for this year to be… https://t.co/rTwNNBdNIG
5.
THERAPIST: if his twitter going away made you happy, why not just leave twitter ME: [mentally drafting a tweet re: this exchange] yea maybe
6.
[cool person follows me] me: ok I gotta bring my A game now it's only good tweets from here me 5 mins later: horses r just big dogs ?
7.
Twitter is cool cuz someone who works at a bank will tweet amazing jokes and the funniest comedian you know will tweet "today I had an egg"
8.
me deleting my tweets about my mental breakdown the morning after
9.
you guys ever have a tweet that underperforms commercially but then like two really cool people on the timeline fav… https://t.co/QVZ5XjjWkz
10.
Well, well, well, if it isn't the guy from Twitter that told me to go fuck myself
11.
The Twitter experience perfectly encapsulated in two tweets
12.
a "ok, but would you say that IRL" button would maybe make Twitter 15.2% less of a dumpster
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14.
Before twitter i found actual jokes funny but now this is what i find funny
15.
Us: Twitter is garbage. This place is a cesspool. Twitter: Here are some more characters. Us: Why would you ruin perfection?
16.
I miss 2012 Twitter when everything used to be jokes. You could roast on someone & they would roast back. Now you j… https://t.co/yPa2wL63F6
17.
I think we can all agree that Twitter Twitter is the worst Twitter.