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Proof That Christopher Pike Wrote Some Pretty Fucked-Up Books For Teens

SEXY LIZARD TEENS.

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But let us not forget that some of the best YA horror of the '90s also came from none other than Christopher Pike.

J. Peter Siriprakorn / Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: speedypete

(And yes, the "Christopher Pike" pen name comes from the Star Trek character.)

Pike's novels felt like they were for the slightly more ~mature~ YA reader, because they frequently included references to people (gasp!) having sex and doing drugs. The books were also, without a doubt, COMPLETELY BONKERS (in the best way).

J. Peter Siriprakorn / Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: speedypete

And Pike often doesn't get the credit he deserves.

Here are just SOME of Pike's best storylines that blew teenagers' minds:

1. Teens framing each other for murder!

Simon Pulse / Via amazon.ca

Hey, so your brother killed himself because your best friend wouldn't go out with him. You know how you should get your revenge? Frame her for murdering you. Obviously.

Fun fact: Fall Into Darkness was turned into a made-for-TV movie starring Tatiana Ali and Jonathan Brandis (RIP).

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4. Murder-solving ghost teens!

Simon Pulse / Via chamberfour.wordpress.com

This book starts with the main character getting pushed off a fourth-storey balcony and totally dying, meaning she has to solve her own murder from beyond the graaaaave! And there's some alcoholism and diabetes and incest thrown in there for good measure. (For reals, though, this was probably Pike's best work.)

5. Pervy teens who hide cameras in the girls' showers at school!

Simon Pulse / Via likepike.blogspot.ca

And, obviously, he accidentally photographs what looks like a murder. And then an evil teen murders her friends by forcing them to overdose on cocaine. OBVIOUSLY.

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9. Immortal teens!

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This girl straight-up lives until the end of the universe and then re-lives all of time over and over, but as different people each time. HOW THE HELL DID TEENAGE READERS HANDLE THIS SHIT?

10. Time-travelling teens!

Simon Pulse / Via amazon.ca

Travelling back into their teenage bodies in order to prevent a terrible future in spaaaaaace! (There's also a huge rip-off of War Games near the end of this one.)

11. Vampire teens!

Simon Pulse / Via amazon.ca

No, not vampire teens of the Twilight variety, but the kind that frequently and brutally murders people, and when they tell her they don't want to die, she just replies, "Then you never should have been born." WAY HARSH, TAI.

12. Teens who are actually reincarnated Greek gods!

Simon Pulse / Via amazon.ca

Greek gods who murder each other by mixing glass into a hamburger and feeding it to their enemies. GOOD GOD, CHRISTOPHER PIKE, THAT IS SOME MESSED-UP SHIT.

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13. Teens who are secretly robots!

Simon Pulse / Via yarevisited.blogspot.ca

This book starts as a typical "VCR that records the future" book, then somehow becomes "and SHE WAS A ROBOT THE ENTIRE TIME." (And if you don't know what a VCR is, stop reading this because it's past your bedtime.)

14. Evil ghost teens manipulating former friends into killing themselves!

Simon Pulse / Via amazon.ca

Yeesh, how to even describe this one? Two teens return home to find their town empty, except for three of their schoolmates. They eventually realize that a girl named Betty Sue, who recently killed herself (by BURNING HERSELF TO DEATH, WHAT THE FUCK), has written terrible stories in which each of them die — and then the stories start coming true! Then it turns out Betty Sue is also reincarnated as an evil fetus or something? This book was so fucked up, you guys. It was awesome.

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