1. On poetry:
a haiku: kraft dinner is gross why did i eat the whole box ew i hate myself
2. On best-laid plans:
do u ever wanna cook a killer breakfast but the kitchen is like: hahaha no bitch. kraft dinner or lemon juice
3. On the next major blockbuster:
SHE'S a 20-something woman too lazy to cook. HE'S a pot of Kraft Dinner she can't resist. Together they're VERY SAD.
4. On your postsecondary career:
University starts for real when you're drunk in your room at 5 am eating Kraft dinner, naked
5. On the inevitable aftermath:
*eats Kraft Dinner, gets diarrhea* I don't know what I expected.
6. On KD's role in Canada's federal election:
look over the border; if you see white smoke, then Canada's elected their new leader; black smoke, they burned their kraft dinner #cdnpoli
7. On one side of a contentious debate:
If you eat your Kraft Dinner with a fork, I probably hate you
8. And the other side of the argument:
If you eat Kraft Dinner with a spoon I probably hate you
9. On the secret truth:
Kraft dinner box says serves 4 when really its all 4 me
10. On the perfect euphemism:
you wanna Kraft dinner and chill
11. On Canadian holidays:
The first Canadian thanksgiving feast was Kraft Dinner with hotdogs cut into it and ketchup on top, as is the savage tradition of Gords
12. On when we're REALLY eating KD:
Kraft Dinner changes its name to KD. Canadians breathe sigh of relief as they finally feel OK about eating it for breakfast & lunch.
13. On proper cooking instructions:
Kraft Dinner 101: Don't do this
14. On health benefits:
My blood is probably 80% Kraft dinner cheese powder at this point
15. On yet another Kraft Dinner war:
You can't trust people who put ketchup on Kraft Dinner
16. And the other side of said war:
People that don't like ketchup on their kraft dinner are irrevelant and I don't need them in my life
17. On the very real effects of marijuana:
Just smoked pot. Not sure how it's supposed to work- are you supposed to crave Kraft Dinner Spirals?
18. On fine cuisine:
My idea of a gourmet meal is putting hot dogs in kraft dinner👌
19. On history's greatest monster:
To whoever made whole wheat Kraft Dinner, we all hate you
20. On pure physical attraction:
I wish kraft dinner had lips so i could french it.
21. And finally, on the greatest romance the world will ever know:
kraft dinner is the only bae i need. 💕