17 Things All Judgmental People Secretly Do, As Told By Owls
Pettiness is a hoot.
1. You try to give the impression that you’re non-judgmental and open-minded, but you know that secretly, you’re judging the hell out of everybody.
Stuart Chalmers/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: gertcha
You just can't help yourself.
2. Sometimes your judgment is justified, like when you see someone tip only $5 on a $150 restaurant bill.
Paulisson Miura/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: paulisson_miura
Come on, man. Seriously?
3. But let’s be honest: Most of the time, you’re just judging other people for the sake of judging.
eqkrishena/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: icelandic_sheepdog
It's like your hobby.
4. You’re constantly reminding yourself to be more sympathetic, because other people have problems and struggles that you are not privy to.
Doryce S. / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: doryce
"Be a better, kinder person today."
5. But then you hear someone pronounce "nuclear" as "new-cue-ler," and you can feel your eye start to twitch.
Bruce Fulton/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 60713956@N00
"THERE'S ONLY ONE U IN THAT WORD."
6. You have tried, without success, to remember that other people's business is not your business, and you should stay out of it.
myri_bonnie/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: myri_bonnie
Not your circus, not your monkey.
7. Until you see someone air out their personal drama on social media.
Rory MacLeod / Via Flickr: macrj
"Oh, that's juicy as hell."
8. The worst part of starting a new job is that you don’t immediately have an equally petty work friend to gossip with.
hbp_pix/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 85128884@N00
9. So there’s no one to turn to when you find out that your boss’s favourite movie is Prometheus.
caldjr/Creative Commons
"But that movie was GARBAGE."
10. The second you see someone on Facebook get engaged, you instantly scrutinize the proposal, the ring, and any other detail you can find.
Greg Tee/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: mister_tee
"I mean, sure, if you're into that kind of thing..."
11. And it's a constant struggle to keep your real feelings off of your face when an acquaintance debuts a new, less-than-ideal haircut.
Amber325/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: amber325
"Oh, it looks so... different!"
12. Not to mention when someone you know has a baby and gives it a name that you think is ridiculous.
mauryd/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: maury
"'Atticus'? Really?"
13. You don't want to be involved in the drama, but lordy, do you love to watch it unfold.
just1snap/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: just1snap
14. Deep down, you know it isn’t nice to pass judgment on people, but it just feels so good sometimes.
merec0/Creative Commons
Their tribulations sustain you.
15. Not that you’ll ever let anyone know your true feelings — except your closest, most trusted, and equally judgmental friends.
Mick Thompson/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: mickthompson
Your group texts are ruthless.
16. Because the last thing you want is for people to find out all the shit you're thinking about them.
Andrea Westmoreland/Creative Commons / Via Flickr: andrea_pauline
That would be your literal nightmare.
17. But... every once in a while, a terrifying thought will hit you: “I wonder what people are saying about me?”
smilarty/Creative Commons
Oops.