1. On expectations:
Got coffee at local crackhouse/Coffee Time. Not nearly as bad as I thought. At most, 3 crackheads in there, maybe only 1 was real deal.
2. On regular customers:
Old gross Woman sitting outside coffee time, smoking, and in her bathing suit. It's good to be alive.
3. On meeting friends:
Help what's the reaction GIF for when someone non-ironically suggests meeting up at Coffee Time?! 😱
4. On evolving neighbourhoods:
When a Coffee Time closes and becomes a payday loan place, is that called "noitacifirtneg"?
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5. On demographics:
I get the feeling that Coffee Time's largest demographic is people with cars that break down outside of a Coffee Time.
6. On failed flavours:
Sadly, Coffee Time’s “Blumpkin Spice” never took off this fall.
7. On real estate:
I can't wait until I can afford to live in a condo that was once a Coffee Time.
8. On coffee rituals:
At any given moment there are 8 people watching a portable DVD player in any Coffee Time
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9. On anagrams:
Dear Coffee Time, did you know that an anagram for your name is Mice Toffee. Anyway, I know it's a lateral move but maybe think about it.
10. On poetry:
The greatest poem ever written was by a lonely old man sitting in a coffee time.
11. On makeup:
I feel like the woman on this bus is putting on JUST enough make up for her shift at Coffee Time/Hot Dog Stand/Murder
12. On caffeine:
Caffeine is the 3rd most common drug sold at Coffee Time.
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13. On confusion:
This is only the 2nd time in my life I've been inside a Coffee Time but do they all sell cigarettes and Chinese food? Cause this is weird
14. On near-death experiences:
I was discussing events when I've almost died and apparently eating a cookie from Coffee Time doesn't count.
15. On personality quizzes:
Quiz: "What Coffee Time Location Are You?" I got South Barrie!
16. On celebrities:
Saw Ron Sexsmith leaving a Coffee Time. I'd say he's just like the rest of us, but I'd be wrong.
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17. On sex:
Can't cum if I'm within 400 yards of a Coffee Time
18. On admitting your personal failings:
I eat at coffee time way too much to make fun of coffee time.
19. And on not giving in to peer pressure:
Fuck your hack jokes Coffee Time coffee tastes good.
Coffee Time tastes like what I image the coffee in Twin Peaks tastes like: good.
