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1. A cooktop cleaning kit, because if you're not splattering sauce everywhere you're awkwardly avoiding the mess. This will tackle grease, stubborn stains, and burnt-on residue before you have time to avoid eye contact with your roommate.
2. A tub of heavy-duty cleaning wipes that'll conquer scary messes wherever they happened: even on your carpet. The next time you spill nail polish on the rug again (tonight), you can be done with panicked scrubbing before you know it.
3. A pair of microfiber duster slippers to accept that sometimes the only cleaning we want to get done is when walking to the kitchen. Now you can count that pan of brownies as a ~reward~ for cleaning...😉.
4. A cutlery organizing tray so you can still essentially toss your forks into the drawer (this design definitely allows careless placing), but now they'll all stay together.
5. A tub of OxiClean stain remover for easily hitting the reset button no matter how intimidating the damage. Spilt food on your comforter? No problem. More like wine? Easy peasy.
6. A wine stain removing spray so you can prevent any nights out from going sour. I'm not sure who trusted us with a glass of merlot, though. PLEASE do not just toss that shirt on The Chair.
7. A drawer divider set that'll help you separate all your essentials and keep them in their rightful place. Why, you ask? How many times have you run late because you can't find any bleeping socks? You have your answer.
8. A mini garbage can to toss gum wrappers, fast food wrapping, and whatever else you use in your car into this *instead* of literally on the floor. Why you do this?
9. A wood polisher for getting rid of the wear-and-tear your table or wardrobe are starting to show after years of dealing with your LACK of coasters. A session with this will get rid of scratches, water marks, you name it. Heck, do it while watching Netflix.
10. A magnetic key holder that'll never let you lose the most important things again. As some of us know all too well, calling the locksmith is EXPENSIVE. Not to mention, unless we have this we're just going to lose our keys all over again within the week.
11. A flat colander for both catching food scraps and washing fruits and veggies a heck of a lot easier while you cook — meaning you won't let potato peelings sit in your sink for the next seven days and nights.
12. A paw-cleaning device to keep muddy tracks from even appearing in your home, which you KNOW will sit there until you move. Think of this is the fastest and most effective way of asking Mr. Floof to kindly wipe his paws at the door.
13. A wooden desktop organizer so you can finally accept it's definitely harder to concentrate when surrounded by every single memo you've gotten, ever. This make tidying up one simple step — maybe now you'll organize your inbox? Probably not.
14. A fume-free oven cleaner so that time your pie leaked everywhere can finally be undone. How long ago was that again? Let's not think about it — all this requires is a few spritzes and wipes.
15. A leak-proof stainless steel travel mug for feeling confident that your coffee is safe and sound — and so are your car seats now for that matter. No more early morning crises before you've even HAD your caffeine.
16. A roll of eco-friendly, reusable bamboo towels to both nix overspending on regular paper towels and clean up messes a whole lot faster thanks to the absorbent material. AND these are good for the earth! Everybody wins.
17. A pack of stainless steel cleaning wipes that'll effortlessly remove fingerprints, residue, watermarks, and grease from the bottom of your sink. Oh yeah...we're supposed to clean that too...totally forgot.
18. A pack of Scotch-Brite non-scratch scrub sponges for conquering tough messes (why must lasagna punish us so?) without needing to let them "soak" for several decades. The painful process of washing dishes is over before you even THINK to call your mom and cry.
19. A shoe organizer great for anything from boots to unused sweaters — cleaning up your space may seem intimidating, but now you can use every procrastinator's go-to tactic: hiding it all under the bed.
20. A backseat storage bag that'll give you somewhere to toss trash, store tissue boxes, and cram stuff in pockets galore, because if you've owned a car for even a day you're aware of how much can build up. You can finally see the floor mat again.
21. An over-the-door hamper so you can STOP throwing your laundry everywhere. This won't even take up floor space — you have zero excuses left.
22. A set of Drop Stop gap fillers, because French fries should be in your mouth — not buried between the seats. Now the ghosts of fast food past won't live in our cars.
23. A shower curtain with nine mesh pockets so you can keep everything from your loofah to shampoo off the floor — especially useful if you currently have a very cluttered standing shower.
24. A Mr. Clean bath-cleaning pad that'll conquer the tub you guys are starting to get nervous to bathe in. This will easily wipe away the toughest of grime, soap scum, etc. so you're done before you have the chance to give up.
25. A set of Affresh dishwasher cleaning tablets for instantly dissolving food residue that's been hanging out for awhile now. This may be why our parents told us to ~rinse~ dishes first...well now we don't have to, anyway.
26. A packing organizer so you can make *un*packing your suitcase whenever you travel an actual reality. The days of living with clothes spilling out of a suitcase in the middle of your room are officially over.
27. A set of non-slip velvet hangers that'll easily make your closet look put-together, as well as keep all your clothes off the floor. Oh...there's that silk top....
28. A squeegee broom so you can easily collect dirt and pet hair (or yours tbh) from hard-to-clean carpets and upholstery. Sadly your pet will NOT help, but this'll be over before you can resent them.
29. A Swiffer wet and dry mop, because this'll be the easiest solution to picking up the dirt, hair, and other grime that's been living on your kitchen floor since Christmas. Hey look, it's your tiles — remember them?
You after five minutes of doing the bare minimum:
