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    19 Utterly Terrible Life Hacks That Won't Work, But Will At Least Make You Laugh

    "Tired of always boiling water for your pasta? Just boil a big load in the beginning of the week and freeze it for later use!"

    1. Keep your car running smoothly!

    life hack: if ur car is making a weird noise, just turn up ur music really loud until it disappears

    2. Eat lunch for free!!

    Step 1: Get an old briefcase Step 2: Eat coworker’s lunch out of work fridge Step 3: When coworker confronts you slam briefcase on table and say “I’ll give you $10k if you promise to never tell anyone about this” Step 4: Ha! Coworker discovers you only put $5k in the briefcase

    3. Put a bee in your mouth!!!

    heckacute / Tumblr / Via

    4. Meal prep for later!!!!

    Tired of always boiling water for your pasta? Just boil a big load in the beginning of the week and freeze it for later use!

    5. Find true love!!!!!

    new tinder idea: upload all my photos upside down so girls turn their phone to look at them, obviously realise am ugly and swipe left but of course that's now actually right bing bang boom match

    6. Get a new pet!!!!!!

    Go to a fancy restaurant. Order the lobster. Order it alive. When it comes, order food for your new pet lobster. Then take lobster home.

    7. Get some free ducks!!!!!!!

    The elites don’t want you to know this but the ducks at the park are free you can take them home I have 458 ducks

    8. Commit the perfect crime!!!!!!!!

    waluigiology / Tumblr / Via

    9. Make the perfect getaway!!!!!!!!!

    greathaircut / Tumblr / Via

    10. Elude the cops!!!!!!!!!!

    11. Avoid mosquito bites!!!!!!!!!!!

    When you see a mosquito land on you and begin to bite, laugh and ask “is it in yet?” It will ruin the mosquito’s confidence and it won’t be able to perform penetration

    12. Get a table at a busy restaurant!!!!!!!!!!!!

    There weren’t any open tables at this sports bar so I yelled “Chad, you left your Jeep lights on!” and now I can sit wherever I want.

    13. Avoid heartbreak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    marry someone u only kinda like so if u get a divorce it won’t be that bad

    14. Stay hydrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    15. Eat better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Worm eats dirt, bird eats worm, man eat bird. Notice that at each level of the food chain, about 90% of the energy is lost in the form of heat. We cut out the middle men. Join me, eating dirt, to become a being of pure energy.

    16. Get free furniture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Only a FOOL would buy IKEA furniture. Instead I just download the instructions and keep emailing their service dept to say that I am missing a piece, until they ship me all the pieces over a six month period

    17. Stay safe in the forest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    If you're being chased by an animal, just lay on the ground for 5 seconds. The 5 second rule will prevent the animal from eating you.

    18. Get a good deal on a funeral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *first date* Guy: I like a girl who's good with money Me: the city will bury you for FREE if they can't identify your body

    19. And just find a great bargain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    For more totally unhelpful life hacks, check out ShittyLifeProTips on Reddit!

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