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38 Times Canadians Were Fucking Hilarious On Twitter In 2016

We have to laugh to keep from freezing to death.

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1.

CANADIAN: im a canadian DATE: cool i've never met a comedian befor CANADIAN: [is too polite to corect them, dedicates entire life to comedy]

2.

Between Brexit and the American election, Canada wanders in like

3.

my cousin is on holiday & he told me there's a mop at the place he's staying that "always scares him" & sent me this

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4.

My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.

5.

You know you're in Canada when hockey sticks are specifically listed as potentially lethal weapons.

6.

Americans: Cuba is a terrible dictatorship that was nearly responsible for nuclear war Canadians: Cuba is a warm place with no Americans!

7.

Genie: 1st wish ME: I wish for a pen G: #2 M: another pen G: wtf M: I already lost the 1st pen G: and ur 3rd M: ur not going to believe this

8.

You're not a real Canadian until you've slipped on ice while changing the Shania Twain song on your phone.

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9.

Any tourist to Vancouver has gotta check out our famous vape clock. It's the clock that vapes!

10.

His teachings were really all over the place.

11.

43% of Toronto residents have been boycotting Hamilton their entire lives

12.

Mike Pence somehow managed to be the least popular Vice-President at a musical about a Vice-President who kills the hero of that musical.

13.

Overheard in Toronto: You know it's bad when straight white guys are worried.

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14.

Face down, ass up, that's the way I like to lie down burdened with the awfulness of this world

15.

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I want a SPIDERMAN GO app where I have to get pictures of spiderman for a furious j jonah jameson

17.

Overheard a conversation amongst girls about "the biggest fuckboy in Parry Sound" at the hortons. Ten bucks his name is Dustin.

18.

*USB inventor tries 1st prototype* *doesn't go in* *other way doesn't work too* *tries the first way, works now* USB INVENTOR: this is fine

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19.

Oh man. This news anchor's shirt... 😁 https://t.co/Gk10R6DxTV

20.

Just used the term "leg-wrist" because I couldn't remember the word "ankle". It's been a long day.

21.

i think about how Chuck E. Cheese's full first names are "Charles Entertainment" like twice a day

22.

this headline can literally be read to mean three different things

23.

[Shark Tank] Her: I sell seashells Kevin O'Leary: Mhmm H: By the seashore K: By the seashore H: Yea K: Where seashells are free H: I... umm

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24.

Waiting in line to get into farmers market, because wife wanted trumps election to be only second worst thing that happened to me this week

25.

Favourite parts in the movie Twister: - when the dog is ok during the first Twister - when the dog is ok during the other Twister

26.

Everything I look for in a date: ✔️️Fresh ✔️️Cheap ✔️️Loose

27.

I miss the days when I knew how long an Instagram video was gonna be

28.

You like balloon animals? Don't forget they're full of clown breath. You're just carrying around the sighs of a man in full make up.

29.

"I don't have to answer to you." - Something I literally just said to my cat. Send help.

30.

7YO singing along to Beyonce's HOLD UP, stops, whispers.. "I'm so glad Beyoncé wrote this song. I'm so glad her husband cheated on her."

31.

I regret not pushing this elevator button:

33.

Jesus Christ! Getting so sick of being constrained by all these stupid rules! This is supposed to be a free country!

34.

I feel so bad for the prop person on knife day. That must have been such a long shoot day. #SuicideSquad

35.

The search for my large child begins here

36.

It's taken me a while to realize that all I want to do is watch and sing and make up musicals, so I guess you were right, high school.

37.

"I've got this great idea for a business. OK, hear me out."

38.

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