1. Meerkats are baby-killing tyrants.
In any clan of meerkats, the dominant female is the only one allowed to have babies — to the point that she will straight-up just murder all the offspring of any other female in the clan. Oh, and then she’ll force the other females to raise her babies. No wonder Timon from The Lion King decided to hang out with a giant warthog instead.
2. Dolphins torture their prey.
Don’t be fooled by their smiles or their ability to toss beach balls through hoops — bottle-nosed dolphins have a dark side. Pods of dolphins have been seen chasing and attacking porpoises for sport, and even playing “volleyball” with baby sharks.
3. Dachshunds can, and will, attack you if they feel threatened.
Pitbulls get most of the bad press, but a 2008 study determined that despite their small size, dachshunds are actually the most aggressive dog breed, and the ones more likely to bite strangers and lash out at their owners. One dachshund even gnawed off his owner’s toe while she slept.
4. Chinchillas will manipulate you and any situation for attention.
If you’re thinking of getting a chinchilla as a pet, consider the fact that they’re tiny little drama queens. If they don’t think they’re getting enough attention, they’ll fake sick, or even spray urine all over you and your house.
5. Emperor penguins kidnap other penguins’s babies.
If a female emperor penguin loses her own chick, she’ll occasionally steal a baby belonging to another penguin. Even worse, she’ll quickly tire of her cute little prisoner and just abandon it, leaving it to die from exposure or from predator attacks.
6. Platypuses will poison you.
They may look like the cute, harmless offpsring of an otter and a duck, but platypuses have venomous stingers on their back feet. The venom likely can’t kill humans, but their stingers still hurt like a motherfucker.
8. Hippopotamuses are hungry-hungry for way more than marbles.
Hippos are actually considered the most aggressive and dangerous animals in Africa, and it’s estimated that they’re responsible for more human deaths than lions, elephants, rhinos, buffalo, and leopards combined.
9. Cassowaries will tear you to shreds.
Their head markings say, “Watch my YouTube makeup tutorial!” but their five-inch claws and super-fast running speed say, “Get back here so I can literally rip out your guts.”
12. Wombats are living battering rams.
They may look like fuzzy, harmless oafs, but wombats are highly aggressive and won’t hesitate to attack humans. They use their heavy, dense bodies to knock people over and then repeatedly bite them.
13. Sugar gliders don’t care about endangered species.
What could these cute little fluffernutters do that’s so terrible? Oh, they’ve just eaten so many Tasmanian swift parrot chicks that the birds are now critically endangered.
14. And margays will mentally torture their prey.
The spotted fur and anime eyes are wicked cute, but margays are masters of manipulation: They mimic the sound of scared baby monkeys to lure their prey towards them. So not cool, you guys.
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